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THE main problem with costies is that they take their accounts too seriously. About two years ago, a cost accountant hired a law firm to pursue the "irregularities in the annual accounts of the institute" up the DCA alley. The auditors, Gupta & Co, had reserved comment on an expenditure included under international conference and meetings on foreign travel.

This foreign angle is alive once again with the furore over ICWAI panel's Australia trip and the DCA issuing directives to the accounting body. It seems an e-group of the Institute went to Sydney to attend a programme on accounting organised by the International Federation of Accountants (IFAC).

What happened at the IFAC meeting is of no concern to anybody, but the DCA — the arm with which the Government controls the professional accounting bodies such as ICAI, ICSI, ICWAI, and so on — has mentioned that "no expenditure on account of this foreign trip can be booked to the council either directly or indirectly."

At the street-side joint where I drop by for an occasional chai, it therefore comes as no surprise that I am accosted by many cost accountants. A frequent question they ask is: "Why only us?"

I tell them, "You are setting an example for others to be cautious of. Be proud to be the trend-setters."

Another question that bothers them is: "What is the way out?"

Fairly easy one, I think and reply, "Check in, boarding pass and go through the X-ray!"

They're furious, as only the have-nots can be. "Aren't all exits blocked?"

Then, I spread out the DCA directive and read letter-by-letter. "Book no expenditure," I explain, "so, you can book income."

"That's for us," they say.

"Call it by a different name, such as overhead," I gesticulate, buzzing like a flying plane.

"Neither directly nor indirectly, you dud," they frown.

"Only one way is left," I whisper and they are all ears. "Fly the craft, or act as flight stewards."

They still have one doubt: "Is it all right if we end up with a chocolate-distribution variance?"

hindubusinessline@hotmail.com

D. Murali

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