Financial Daily from THE HINDU group of publications
Friday, Dec 13, 2002
Financial Daily from THE HINDU group of publications Friday, Dec 13, 2002 |
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Industry & Economy
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Disinvestment Columns - Say Cheek Happy birthday, Shourie! D. Murali
THERE was a low-key birthday party at the Ministry of Disinvestment a couple of days ago. The department had been formed on December 10, 1999, with a view to establishing "a systematic policy approach to disinvestment and privatisation and to give a fresh impetus to the Government's disinvestment programme", as mentioned in its homepage. After Shourie pooh-poohed the four candles on an oily cake, to the accompaniment of subdued cheering by a few PSUs in birthday suit, there was all that hushed talk among the guests about the goings on. A few snatches: Hey, prof, is there any difference between disinvest and divest? Divest, if you consulted the dictionary they gave you in school, is to take away from something, especially status or power, from somebody or something; or to remove something, usually clothes; or to give up or get rid of something, especially a belief or idea. As a law term, it means to lose or give away rights to the possession of property, or deprive somebody of them. Origin is French, which literally means to undress, from vestir to clothe. That's why the Ministry's Web site is called http://divest.nic.in. Let me tell you how we do in newspapers. If there is more space for the headline, we put `sin' inside, else we take it out. If invest is the opposite of disinvest, is Jaswant going to give us `disinterest' instead of interest? Actually, he is not interested in giving interest. If you are planning to buy your Christmas dress or New Year shoes with the interest you might get, the FM is trying to tell you it's not the time to divest now. Also, Jana does not think companies without corporate governance are `discos'. There is a curious bartender behind the curtain! He could be from S&P or the Moody's. You know they are trying to hang on every word these people say about disinvestment and immediately call up their bosses in the US to update the country ratings. Remember what happened last time? One minister twitched his lips when a TV reporter asked him about disinvestment, and by the time the party was over, our rating changed to BB minus C++. Can't they think of better names for Arun's job? There were other options, such as what an MP from Kolkata suggested, "Load-shedding Department" or the one from the jacuzzi manufacturers, "Baby with the bathtub". Some key people want to call the Ministry "LSB" for lock, stock and barrel, but there are wholesale traders who are lobbying for "Cash-n-carry" as the right name. Picking up a disinvested company is like? Too many analogies are there already. Some liken it to a `garage sale' while others look at Shourie's office as manufacturer's exclusive `seconds' shop. A few of those looking for divorcees in the matrimonial ads start reading stories about disinvestment to prepare themselves. If Arun is like a dealer in reconditioned used cars, he is not giving any warranty. In employment terminology, he is like a big `bench' where all PSUs come to sit waiting for takers to arrive. Well, he is the savvy producer who finds a market for yesteryear superstars in today's TV serials. And closer home, he is no different from a conservative housewife who turns the hard idlis that nobody wanted as yesterday's breakfast into spicy uppuma for today's snack.
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