The Hindu Business Line : Of inch tapes and weighing machines

BUSINESS readers are usually too busy with IPOs and BPOs, while sports lovers are tied to ODIs and run-rates. For those who care, however, there are thousands of matrimonial ads that crowd the Sunday space. There is ample material in these advertisements to merit research, but what strikes me is the eternal quest for the perfect boy and girl.

They say it is ABC in cars (that is, accelerator, brake and clutch) and ABCDEFG when looking for a bride. That is, age, beauty, character, dowry, education, family, and optionally, god-fearing. Thus, the adjectives that could assault you from the pages could be handsome, tall, fair, good-looking, slim-build, well-educated, charming, smart, pleasing, from respectable family, homely, good-natured and so on. When there are too many of such descriptive phrases in one ad, one begins to wonder if it is possible to find somebody with all those qualities rolled into one.

A week ago, I had occasion to attend the annual day of Swabodhini, a school that works with special children and works to create social awareness on autism. A pamphlet that I picked up at the entrance, asks: "Does your child seem to have some of the following traits?"

It proceeds to list about a dozen features of autism, such as: does not maintain eye contact, does not communicate, prefers to play alone, bizarre behaviour such as flapping of hands, resists physical contact, enjoys spinning objects such as fans, does not display emotions, and so on.

The more one reads, it could appear as if all those symptoms were present in one. So, I spoke to Ramamani Ravi, the school's honorary secretary. "It is just that our other accomplishments overshadow our abnormalities. Not so in the case of special children," she explains and that is quite reassuring.

The school day itself was a moving event, with kids singing and dancing, running and prancing, unmindful of gaffes that could look too glaring in normal people. Teachers and volunteers who helped backstage, and often on stage too, had but one objective - to get their students on their feet.

For those who come face to face with such realities, the realisation could be profound - that we possess qualities that are so important and valuable.

Which is why I think priorities are often misplaced when looking for textbook stuff in grooms and brides.

When normalcy borders on abnormality, it should, therefore, be a real crazy chap who would be asking for a thrifty girl who can manage his household within means and not run it like a deficit budget.

Likewise, looking for kindness or empathy would be foolish in a market where people seem to go with inch-tapes and weighing machines. Who would tell the girls or their parents that an entrepreneurial, creative, lateral-thinking and hardworking boy would be a better choice than a handsome guy who is willing to relocate?

E&OE@thehindu.co.in

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