The Hindu Business Line : Not all that comes from a cow is milk

SIDHUISM fans are working overtime to recycle those abundant one-liners of their icon, who has graduated from the commentary box to the hallowed House. His party, however, may not be so eager to be entertained with something like, "Electioneering pitch went so high that it brought down the government with it," or "A seat in a defeated party is like a comb that the electorate gives when you are bald." But we can still polish off a few other statements of Sidhu.

Thus, what was said of the Sri Lankan score — that it was running like an Indian taxi meter — could well have applied to how the Congress and its allies raced past in the election tally, even as Naidu and Amma threw in the drowning BJP both ends of the rope. Yet Venkaiah was hopeful of light at the end of the tunnel for, but it was that of an incoming train of anti-incumbency vote that ran the lotus over. So, the party's think-tank got together because they believed that statistics are like mini-skirts, revealing more than what they hide, without realising that voters are like wives — you never know which way they will turn.

The halfway mark was still far away, and the shining party was labouring like the Indian three-wheeler, sucking a lot of diesel but not going beyond 30. If they felt as uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine, let's appreciate that the poor animal could've been hurt in the process. Results whizzed past like a bumblebee and our netas were at sea, and in TV discussions, they were trying to find reasons for the debacle like searching for a pin in a haystack, and looked confused as a child in a topless bar. The way their candidates were failing reminded one of the cycle-stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala — one falls and everything else falls!

People know one cannot make omelettes without breaking the eggs nor bring about a change without giving politicians the shock of their lives. And the elected ones know that without majority, it is after all like a kiss without a squeeze. Coalition is a thrill that viewers bargained for when they cast their votes, because of the promise of suspended animation all the time, because anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm and anybody can rule when they have a brute two-thirds.

The new FM will have conflicting demands from allies, and he may have to choose between tightening the belt or losing the pants. A cat with gloves catches no mice nor does an ally gain anything by giving outside support.

There are so many young members in the House, and they look as innocent as freshly laid eggs. But will MP-ship be the perfect fire extinguisher for their flaming youth? Would they soon realise that having a heart of gold is no great virtue because a hard-boiled egg too has one such? With them would be the seasoned veterans, and the new ones would well remember the saying: When you are dining with the demons, you've got to have a long spoon! Also, there's no use being one-legged in a bum-kicking competition.

The clueless still ask whether it was already time to change the nappies without realising that there was so much gap between promises and performance that one could drive a rath through. Voters, after all, are no fools to think that all that comes from a cow is milk. Nor all that a politician says is the truth.

SayCheek@TheHindu.co.in