The Hindu Business Line : Where is Appu?

FOR almost a whole month I've not been responding to anxious reader mails, all with the same query: Where is Appu? But when the inbox shows strain at its seams, there is no option but to find an answer, whether or not our cops find him.

First, who is Appu?

Appu is the nice little elephant in kids' stories. For instance, you can read `Appu gets hungry' on www.dimdima.com. Don't you remember the dancing doll at Appu Ghar? APPU is also the Asian Pacific Postal Union Bureau, affiliated to the Universal Postal Union that, in turn, is a specialised agency of the United Nations. Appu is a Kannada movie where the hero, Appu is "chaka chak and jolly-going, absolutely straightforward, with a head constable pop." But, this Appu is different!

Next, what did Appu do?

Rather, ask what he has not done! You name it, he has done that. Name any VIP, he knows them. Spot any place on the map, he's been there, and so the cops too have been going to all those places.

So, it seems Appu did some thappu?

Thappu, or wrong, yes, you're right. Cops say he was a big dada with a big gang under his control. That he hired the killers, gave them the tools, and so on. Plus he was very close to divine circles too!

Do you think he's the same as Pappu?

No, Pappu Yadav is different. He's an MP in a Bihar jail, happily making 670 calls using his cell-phone, till the police searched all over the place and found the gadgets.

But everyday there's some news about Appu!

True, one day, we read he has gone abroad. Another day, court said, no he cannot go. Yet another morning, everybody thought he was arrested. Then, they clarified, no, not yet. Recently, they found his luxury car and produced it before the court. Everybody peeped in to see if he was sitting in the passenger seat, though nobody opened the boot.

I have an old friend whose nickname is Appu!

Oh, he must be Appusamy, and if I'm not wrong, his wife is Seetha paati. It is difficult for him to think of a different name, after all these years. However, I'd suggest you don't speak to him over the cell, at least for some time to come.

Appu wielded so much power, is that true?

Yeah, when he said, I'm Appu, people used to stand up, not knowing who'd have to go down next. He couldn't be pooh-poohed, you see.

Now, where is Appu?

Well, that's the all-important question nobody knows the answer to. According to one astrologer in Rameswaram, he is definitely in the North. Eyewitnesses say that sleuths did an aerial combing operation to find where Appu is but weren't successful because he would not show his face.

When they find him, what will they say?

According to one theory, they'll tell him, "Hands up-pu, Appu!" But, there is another theory that suggests they will simply make him shut up-pu.

SayCheek@TheHindu.co.in