The Hindu Business Line : On the many numbers that Mani crunched

PETROL and diesel price hikes have ceased to elicit any great curiosity from the common people. There used to be a time when we used to line up at the petrol bunk to fill the fuel tanks ahead of price hikes, all to save a few rupees. Not any longer. Maybe because we're too resigned to think of changing our destiny, or because the price revisions have become too frequent to engage our reflexes. Yet, to disturb our peace, a smiling Mani emerges from Chiddu's room, and the man on the street is asking the inevitable questions.

What happened inside?

Mani told Chiddu, "I told the guys outside we're going to discuss petroleum product prices. But I don't know what to do now!" Chiddu said, "Quiet. Let's discuss state politics, because I'm good in that!" Mani asked, "What shall I tell them when I go out?" But by then Chiddu was already busy on the phone with Reddy, talking about the Sivaganga Cooperative Bank.

But Mani said many things!

Please understand that he had to. Because of the hype created by the media about `the much-awaited meeting between the Finance Minister and the Petroleum Minister,' Mani had to utter something appropriate. Such as, saying that the talks remained inconclusive.

Did they crunch numbers?

Mani said, "We have done a fair bit of number crunching this afternoon," and none asked him what those numbers were. It seems they were searching for the phone number of a troublesome friend whose name begins with K and ends with T, after Chiddu scolded Mani for not beginning "a consensus building exercise within the UPA coalition including the Left."

Did Chiddu shift to neutral when he pulled up at Mani's bunk?

Yes, he did, but Mani suspected that the gear was on. Chiddu caught his ear and said, "You think I made Rs 3,000 crore from my Budget proposals? Remember what we studied in school: kannaal kaanbadum poi, kaadaal ketpadhum poi?" That means what you see is false, and that what you hear is also false.

So Mani came out and declared, "I am more than convinced about the Finance Minister's statement that the Budget proposals are revenue neutral." If you heard that, remember the above quote.

A sarkari karmachari wants to sit pillion!

You can't refuse, I'm afraid, because Mani wants to ensure "equal distribution of the burden due to a hike in prices by splitting the costs between all stakeholders: consumers, oil companies and the government." So, on the way, you can pick up a petrol bunk attendant too, to be fair.

I thought 2.52, 1.65, 4.59 and 5.18 are train timings!

Do you think Lalu doesn't know that there can't be 1.65? These are all price hikes of petrol and diesel! However, what matters to you and me is what shows as the new price on the bunk's meter.

What next?

They will continue having negotiations, though no result is assured. What happened on Monday was only `an initial meeting in the process of raising fuel prices.' If you ask how long this is likely to go on, "There is no specific time on raising fuel prices," says Mani.

Is Mani going to complain to Manmohan?

Yes, Mani is angry that Chiddu didn't accept his suggestion of cutting duties to save consumers from price hike.

"We'll go to Manmohan," challenged Chiddu, sporting a smiling face as usual. And to match, Mani also put on a brave human face when he came out to meet the media.

SayCheek@TheHindu.co.in

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On the many numbers that Mani crunched