The Hindu Business Line : Let's fix that jinxed six!

A BAGGAGE we carry from our schooldays is the report card. No matter how high we scored, there was the usual `Can do better' comment of the teacher. And remarks such as `Fair' and `Satisfactory' were no better in terms of boosting our morale. What seemed to us as the best performance, given the agonising circumstances we had endured in exam halls, was never good enough for our parents. So, there would be their usual tête-à-tête with the class `miss' on whether there would at all be any future for the hapless ward whose past lay bare on a yellow, pink or whatever coloured card, ironically labelled progress report. No wonder, then, that Manmohan has been going through a tough time with his report card. To complicate matters, the exam hasn't ended, it seems, because questions are still pouring in.

What did he score?

"Zero-zero is a big score," said Ron Atkinson, but Manmohan got something bigger. Six upon 10. "For some, this may seem a reasonable mark to get, but I have never been satisfied with 60 per cent," he said, looking at his slate. But since he did the marking, people wonder why he couldn't have been more liberal in his evaluation.

Was there some uproar about the score?

When the news trickled in about the cheh batta das, there were muffled chuckles and also angry protests. Because the mark was high, according to some, while others felt it was too less. Therefore, the papers have been sent for revaluation to have the jinxed six fixed up. Somebody is suggesting that the six be turned upside down!

Is the madam happy?

No, the class-teacher Sonia is very unhappy with the student and also with his math master. For all the coaching given, Manny should have done better, says Madam. "I have always been hopeless in mathematics," she seems to have said, refusing to give any numbers. However, without waiting for the revised marks, she has written `fully satisfied' in the `overall performance' column of the report card, which means `pass.'

How can we explain the goof-up?

It's very easy, says Montek, that the PM has too many numbers in his head: Not just Lalu's telephone number but also the economy's growth rate, and the number of parties in the coalition. Plus a tab on the sheaf of agreements to sign and dignitaries to meet. Does the Opposition accept the score?

No, they had prepared a parallel performance report when they were boycotting Parliament.

As you would have rightly guessed, their valuation was so strict that Manny would have failed many times over. When a reporter asked Addy at the bowling end for the tally, he said, "Pitch is wily, dark and deep, but I have a flock to keep. And scores to settle before I sleep. And scores... "

Can six be so sickening?

No, six can be very sexy. As in Six Sigma that companies long to attain, or a sixer that batsmen love to hit. Six-pack is common in beverages, and six-pack abs are the goal of many a fitness seeker.

"In mathematical terms, six is the only one-digit perfect number in the base 10 number system," explains www.everything2.com, because the number's positive divisors (1, 2, and 3) added up equals it. Six is said to be the human number, because man was created on the sixth day. But, in the present mix-up, six seems to have become a highly political number.

SayCheek@TheHindu.co.in

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Let's fix that jinxed six!