Financial Daily from THE HINDU group of publications
Tuesday, Aug 30, 2005
Financial Daily from THE HINDU group of publications Tuesday, Aug 30, 2005 |
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Variety
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Gender Columns - Say Cheek To catch a husband is an art D. Murali
LITTLE Jack Jingle, he used to live single; but when he got tired of this kind of life, he left off being single and lived with his wife... That's a rhyme for kids, so if at the end, you were to ask them, "Now what do you think of little Jack Jingle?" they're supposed to chime, "Before he was married he used to live single." But the man now singled out for attack is poor Chiddu, what with the Opposition adopting `wife' as the latest jingle. Thus, even as there's bedlam in Parliament over the issue, I'm busy clearing my inbox of all those mails from wives and husbands, not to speak of a stray and worried would-be too. Who is wrong, husband or wife? "An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband," says Booth Tarkington. Thus, if we go witch-hunting, the blame may have to be equally shared! Leaving that aside, what made things worse for Chiddu was when he said he didn't know about his wife's role in the case. It was such a matter-of-fact statement, and a tautology, that nobody wanted it to be said in the first place! Sir, Constable 508 has complained about me! Oh, you must be 376 who polices the busy stretch before the House, I guess. Perhaps, 508 saw your wife going by that road. How can you allow your wife to go by the very road you control, he asks! What's wrong? I mean, with 508! Hello, this is Dr Nalini calling from the operation theatre... Please doc, don't delay the surgery just because that patient on the table is working in a company whose shares your husband owns. However, keep the bloody scalpel handy, in case your opponents attack your bitter half! Screech... nobody told me earlier that my wife is on the train! Bhai sahib, I know that as a responsible engine driver you've become extra-cautious after what happened to the FM. Okay, stop the train, by all means, if you've become suddenly jittery because of the new knowledge! Else, keep chugging. He should be in or out? "Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest," says Irwin Corey. Similarly, the more you hear the Opposition repeating its demands for the FM's resignation, the less interest it holds, don't you? A new weapon against husbands, I think! What the tired and desperate netas forget is that "to catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job," as Simone de Beauvoir points out. Also, they should know that husbands fear their wives more than they fear anybody else. "My toughest fight was with my first wife," Muhammad Ali once said. And, a practical quote of Woody Allen is, "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all himself, and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that, says David Bailey, quite wisely. Should I marry? Poor me, you've been so much frightened by the ruckus! "My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher," said Socrates. Not too risky an option, therefore, to marry!
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