The Hindu Business Line : What can go wrong with dates?

LET me clarify, this is not a primer on dating, though there are many things that can go wrong with dates, blind or otherwise. This is a story about a packet of seedless dates that I have been preserving for the last many weeks.

Not because it has come from a rare source, or that I am so economical in consumption as not to deplete it fast. Just that it tastes of some insecticide, and I am in no mood to try the product as ammo against any worms that might be wriggling in the bowels.

I was not carried away by the price, Rs 12 for 200 grams; but a message on the packing that won that day, when shopping on the Bazaar Road, was, `An ISO 9001:2000 Certified Company'.

Well, I checked the `best before' and it still had three months to go; and so my snack for the evening was secure in my bag. Or, so I thought, till at a hungry moment that afternoon, I fumbled with the packaging and hygienically extracted a piece, only to hurriedly spit it out.

There was no use calling the shop, I knew, and so turned the product over to look at the list of ingredients. "Contains calcium, phosphate, iron, vitamins, protein and minerals," it read, omitting out the obvious and natural dates, and offered to make my day `complete'. But no frustration is complete without conveying it to somebody, and so I hit the web site of the company printed on the packet; surprisingly, it didn't return an error, and thankfully it showed a contact id.

"Today morning I purchased a packet bearing Batch J/ 25410... " I narrated the facts, and concluded thus, "In case you'd like to test it out, I have the packet with me." I was neither enthusiastic about asking for a replacement, nor a refund, but was really curious to know what had caused the mutation.

A few days passed by, and I had given up any hope of getting any response from the company. Then came a small packet by courier, 200 gms from the latest batch, along with a letter.

"Good day and greetings," it began. "We are in receipt of your mail and noted the contents. We always pack fresh quality dates, which are checked thoroughly before despatch. Our packing unit is hygienically maintained, the place and the workers who pack the dates are with gloves and caps, the floors are very clean and the trays are being checked every now and then. There are supervisors engaged to supervise while packing the dates and utmost care is being taken." Well, that's quite a bit of education.

The letter continued: "So, we assure you there is no chance for any mistakes while packing." Ah, that brushes aside my complaint totally. "However, we believe that each and every customer is very much valuable to us and always welcome the suggestions from them." Wait, there appears to be a mistake, or this is a boilerplate letter! For, I didn't offer any suggestions; I'd only lodged a complaint.

"Enclosing herein a packet of our dates as compliments, please accept and acknowledge. Assuring you of our best and prompt attention at all times. Best wishes and kind regards. Yours faithfully, Manager - Quality Control." Who will tell the company that a customer who complains about a product deserves a replacement, not a gift?

I wonder if ISO norms don't insist on pursuing quality complaints to the root cause, which, in my case, would have meant collecting the flawed specimen and dissecting it. Meanwhile, feel free to hop into my room to sample the dour date, in case you are strong-gutted and willing to face the challenge, the way Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus would: "Will it consume me? Let me see it, then."

Unguarded card number

I have been using a credit card that routinely sends in a statement with debit trickles for insurance adding up to about Rs 50 each month, which don't seem to be a major pinch. But they were sending the statements by post in open envelopes. So I complained and, on their suggestion, opted for the e-statement that comes in straight to the inbox.

You'd say there are more risks now, with some teenaged hacker prying into my disk and gouging out my 16-digit number and bankrupting me on the fly. I'd only chuckle because the statement that I get shows a different number. All other details on the statement, such as my name and address, particulars of the occasional debits, and so on tally. Only the card number, which I guess is very important, doesn't match.

The cheques that I put in the drop-box mysteriously get credit in this statement, so it is not as if I'm subsidising somebody else's expenses. Over the last many months, I have been routinely reporting the discrepancy, drawing however no response. Any clues?

E&OE@TheHindu.co.in

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What can go wrong with dates?