The Hindu Business Line : Funny business on the world stage

On September 20, the Venezuelan President, Mr Hugo Chavez, used the podium at the UN to refer to his US counterpart as the `devil.' That's right. I quote: "Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the President of the United States, the gentleman I call `the devil', came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world." He went on to say that the place still smelled of sulphur , and then folded his arms as if in prayer.

His remarks, rather than raising eyebrows, caused a lot of smiles, some laughter, and even a few guffaws. Unlike the members of the General Assembly, many Americans did not like the joke. A city councillor in Boston decided he would score points with his constituents by demanding that a huge `CITGO' hoarding (the Venezuelan oil company that distributes petrol in the US) be taken down in protest. How dare he insult our president, he said. Nightly comedy shows in the US had a whale of a time poking fun at Mr Chavez, in addition to Mr Bush, who is their usual target!

Many years ago, such remarks and behaviour on the world stage would have led to deep consternation. This is not diplomatic!

When Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev thumped his shoe at the UN, there were no guffaws. It probably became a standard example of unacceptable behaviour in foreign service training centres.

The name calling

But leaders have become more relaxed these days. Name-calling is de rigueur. President Bush boldly named Iraq, Iran and North Korea as the `axis of evil,' possibly signifying a change in the curriculum of the US foreign service programmes.

Of course, the best taunts are between the US and Venezuela. The US Defence Secretary, Mr Donald Rumsfeld, has referred to Mr Chavez as Hitler, and the latter has called the US Secretary of State, Ms Condoleezza Rice, as `illiterate.' In Cuba, the US Interest Section (that is, the embassy) usually puts up bright Christmas lights that included, the last time, a reference to jailed dissidents in Cuba.

In return, the Cuban government put up a hoarding outside the embassy referring to the US ill treatment of prisoners in Iraq. The war of the hoardings was on! Post-Cold War, the US and Cuba are trying to annoy each other with bad jokes now.

But Mr Bush is not without a sense of humour. On September 27 , he hosted a joint dinner for Presidents Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan and General Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan. The two had been sniping at each other for a few months about the situation on their borders. So Mr Bush said he wanted to have them together to see their body language in order `to determine how tense things are.'

Now, that's a welcome idea. Put two scrapping leaders together and see how they behave, rather than rely on intelligence reports. Gen Musharraf, a suave military leader, is up to the same stuff. He recently felt that Karzai was behaving `like an ostrich,'and not recognising realities.

Gen Musharraf had been having a whale of a time in the US, doing many television talk shows as part of promoting his book. On the Daily Show, host Jon Stewart asked him if Bush or Osama ran for an election in Pakistan, who would win? Gen Musharraf laughed and said, `Neither!'

Thai coup

It is a bad rumour spread by democracy activists that military dictators are humourless people. Gen Sondhi Boonyaratkalin, the new boss of Thailand, even gave his troops orders to smile after the coup. That's another story.

In olden days, a coup was a coup. There would be fighting, the families of the leaders being overthrown would be beheaded, and martial music would be played on the airwaves. Gen Musharraf changed all that by introducing the concept of a bloodless coup.

The military was presented as the keepers of the nation's conscience. When elected leaders went too far, the military would step in and `restore democracy,' and the people usually applauded, at least initially. The Thai military belongs to the same club. Their last violent coup was in the 1970s. Violent coups are so old-fashioned these days. So when their Prime Minister was away from the country, they decided to take over the government. Another bloodless coup!

Another patriotic military interested in restoring democracy! The people thought it was such a great idea that they came out dressed in their finery with their children, placed the kids lovingly on the tanks next to the soldiers, and took pictures! Armies in the days of the Ottomans or Genghis Khan were never separate from the administration. They were the administration.

Thus, armies in countries such as Algeria, Turkey, Pakistan and Thailand continue to see themselves as the conscience-keepers. It is not hard to discern why. They have well defined hierarchies, whitewashed walkways even in the middle of a desert, and rules and manuals on everything.

When they return to their barracks from an early morning drill and see their democracies chaotically coming to a decision, it must be quite revolting.

The Hungary Premier's lie

The final word must surely rest with Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsany of Hungary. As with all incumbent leaders who face an election, he got carried away praising the great state of Hungary's economy.

Believing him, his people returned him to power. Now, most leaders at this stage would enjoy a private laugh with their advisors at how they fooled their electorate.

Mr Gyurcsany, instead, thought he must share the joke with his people. So he made a statement that all the data he provided his people before the elections about the economy were false; the economy is really in bad shape.

Unfortunately, the rank-and-file Hungarians did not think it funny and they now want his head. But just in case you thought diplomacy, or the fine art of saying something without saying it, is dead, here is my nominee for the prize.

President Karzai, when asked about the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden, recently replied, "If I said he was in Pakistan, President Musharraf would be mad at me. And if I said he was in Afghanistan, it wouldn't be true." With the Bamiyan Buddhas gone, Karzai probably thought it appropriate to smile enigmatically after that.

(The author is professor of international business and strategic management at Suffolk University, Boston, US. His Internet address is cgopinat@suffolk.edu)

More Stories on : Corporate Governance | American Periscope

Article E-Mail :: Comment :: Syndication :: Printer Friendly Page

Stories in this Section
Inflation worries

Little progress on Doha Round

Stories of India's steel industry

Golden Rule of Gandhigiri

Personality test for All-India services

Funny business on the world stage

FBT vs Service Tax

Weak laws