The Hindu Business Line : ‘Top 10 killer constraints’ that hold you back

Ostriches and volcanoes, critics and icebergs, bulldozers and turtles: These are among the ‘top 10 killer constraints’ that hold you back, says Flip Flippen’s The Flip Side ( www.HachetteBookGroupUSA.com).

Personal constraints set the limits for where you can ultimately go, no matter how gifted or talented you are, he explains.

Change, however, is possible, and you can ‘flip’ your negative thoughts and behaviours, assures the author. But first you need to learn ‘the five laws’.

The first is that we all have personal constraints. The author classifies constraints into three categories, viz. inconsequential, hire-able, and owned.

Examples of inconsequential constraints are lacking in fashion sense, being short or tall, or being left-handed. “Hire-able constraints include things like messiness (hire a housekeeper), disorganisation (hire a secretary or assistant), and poor grammar (use a spell-check program or hire an editor).”

Constraints that will impact your personal and professional life most profoundly are the ‘owned’ ones, says Flippen. These constraints include behaviours such as low self-confidence and lack of trustworthiness, which you can change.

The other laws are: you can’t rise above constraints which you don’t or won’t address; personal constraints come in many forms and play themselves out in every area of our lives; they are role specific and act out in context; and those with the fewest constraints win.

The final law, which provides hope, boils down to physics, thus: “The lighter the load you carry, the farther you can go.”

Part two of the book, devoted to identifying personal constraints, begins with ‘bulletproof’, the overconfident. These people stake everything they have on the idea that they are right.

The ‘ostriches’, killer constraint #2, are the opposite; their self-confidence is low.

“The struggles, conflicts, unmet expectations, insecurities, abuses, difficult relationships, and overwhelming events in life cause all of us to end up with some baggage we need to unpack,” counsels Flippen.

The next constraint is to be marshmallows, or overly nurturing. Sadly, overnurturers can’t confront others when something is wrong.

The opposite of marshmallow is the iceberg, the low-nurturing type, fifth in the list of killer constraints. People with this constraint “can be distant, demanding parents, and they make tough, detached bosses.”

To those who are diffident about flipping the constraints, Flippen reminds that we are born with only two fears: “the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.”

A book to flip through, not flippantly though, because it can help you grow at a faster clip.

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