The Hindu Business Line : Cabaret, cricket, replays or ads

On a lazy Sunday morning, the phone chirped with the Boss asking, “Are you watching cricket?” One said, yes, and left it at that as my boss is a cricket expert.

When India were playing Pakistan in the 20x20 World Cup Cricket in South Africa, a second boss, Narayana Karunakara Kurup, came up with the same query. “I am watching two men and women dancing on a stage,” one replied and Kurup came back a touch strongly, “Aren’t you wasting time seeing young men and women dance. It is time for you to visit temples and offer prayers.” One let go.

Some of my gods are in whites on the wide cricketing fields of Eden Gardens, Adelaide and Johannesburg. My delectable fate has been to delight in Allan Donald upturning the stumps of Sachin Tendulkar and in the next match Sachin, taking a step forward, straight driving Allan Donald for a four with no bad blood spilt on the grass.

“See Kurup, there is something called a 20x20 World Cup cricket going on in South Africa. If you can get Vengsarkar on your side, you could join the team and score 50 runs. Anybody can do it in Cabaret Cricket 20x20. Today, India is playing Pakistan,” one said. “ I wish India loses,” said Kurup in an unusually, incendiary tone.

There is this thing about Kurup. He is averse to cricket and Sania (Second-round) Mirza in tennis. Going by what one sees and hears over the TV channels, the commentators and the young are having a “terrific time”. Most of the matches are being played to near-empty stands and except for the young cabaret crowd, there is nothing young about the game.

Till date, the tournament has not seen a single young bowler or batsman put in an impressive show (exception being the slow bowling of Daniel Vettori, the captain of the New Zealand team, and he cannot be classed as young) as this format does not need cricketers, in the original sense. In 20x20, batting is hitting the ball and bowling is throwing the ball; an art form is being surely skinned of its graces in a country which has produced some stylish cricketers like Rhodes and Allan Donald.

Every time a batsman hits a six or a four, the cabaret starts and most of the time one is not sure what one is watching – cabaret, cricket, replays or ads. But the show is over in about three hours.

When in town recently, Sharjah Ganesh said he had stopped watching cricket in the last three years; my brother-in-law Hari in Chennai refuses to look at a cricket channel. But this writer watches cricket and all sports – not always in that order. There is young Sameer in our housing society, who is always there where cricket is played. Possibly, the best match till date was that between Australia and Pakistan. Pakistan won and they earned it; Australia, one suspects, does not inspire awe as it did in the 50-overs 2007 World Cup in West Indies.

One gulped in disbelief at the tie-breaker for India to beat Pakistan. Perhaps, that evening the rule makers cleaned up the character and style of the game. Five bowlers bowling to empty stumps with no batsmen. The gentlemen manning ICC may be informed that a tie-breaker in hockey or football or tennis makes for tenseness with both sides given a 50:50 chance. What’s a bowler in cricket without a batsman to bowl at? Five batsmen could have faced the five bowlers with the match being decided on runs scored or wickets lost.

From five-day Test matches with one day rest in between, to one-day matches (starting with 60 overs per team to 50 overs) to 20x20 and then ….. 5x5 overs World Cup? One wonders who got to the idea first: ICC or the corporate sponsors over drinks? Corporates have been unhappy over the time lost by their staff watching five-day cricket or the 50-over game. The GDP and profits have dropped when workmen watch cricket, say many unsporting chroniclers. “It is time to put a stop to this waste,” said an industrialist to this writer a long time ago while fiddling with the remote to watch a cricket game.

Corporate chiefs can watch matches; rather, it is an obligatory relaxation for them; workers cannot as the bottom lines get dented.

The 20x20 formula does not cut much into the time of the chief executive and when the 5x5 comes in another five years, the game can be watched over a 30-minute lunch break by all.

Much of the 20x20 cricket commentary is akin to the yells at WWF; the format does not allow for the literary ability of a John Arlott; equally quickly to disappear could be cricket writing. This writer has a precious collection called Third Leaders, Reprinted from The Times.

All the pieces are anonymous and this writer would love to have the skills of the gentleman who wrote the piece – A Days’ Cricket.

He writes: “… many of the chief pleasures of watching cricket are independent of a deep knowledge of the game. For cricket, in so far as any explanation of it is necessary, explains itself; … … And very soon, if cricket, as we believe, has the magic that its admirers claim for it, he that made his first journey with the air of a detached philosopher seeking escape will find himself making the same journey again and again, because he, too is become an enthusiast. Before the end of the season he may learn to discourse as learnedly as his grandchildren on the break of a ball and the artistry of a batsman’s feet.

“The green island with its fifteen inhabitants in white, will cast its spell over his indifference, his modesty, and his unbelief.”

In changing times, it could have been a bit much for a decent gentleman like Rahul Dravid playing the game with rare flavour to continue as captain of the Indian cricket team. Well done, Rahul for walking away.

P. Devarajan