The Hindu Business Line : Women are ‘biologically wired to succeed’

No matter where you are on the career ladder, there’s a lot to be gained by working with men, advises Nina DiSesa in Seducing the Boys Club ( www.landmarkonthenet.com).

That may sound unpalatable to some women, but there is lot more unconventional gyan that the author offers in the S&M (seduction and manipulation) manual.

Such as: Learn to appreciate men, because men like women who like them. Don’t assume that men never listen. And, don’t be a quiet achiever.

Success, however, doesn’t come by easily, concedes DiSesa. It’s tough for women to get to the top, she acknowledges.

“And if a woman reaches that pinnacle in our male-dominated culture, it’s a miracle if she stays there.”

Why is it so? “The problem is that we don’t always know how to fit into a man’s work world,” reads the diagnosis. “Men see us as unfamiliar, foreign beings they don’t really understand, and as a result, they don’t feel comfortable with us. Our failure to succeed with them is partially our fault.”

But there is a way, guides DiSesa. “We have to be more like them,” she tells women. “We have to recognise their good qualities and the skills that have made them successful – things like being decisive, focussed, and willing to take risks while somehow still having fun throughout the process.”

The secret is simple: If women can tap into their ‘male’ side and not lose any of their wonderfully unique ‘female’ skills, they can win at this game.

“Most men can’t, won’t, or don’t know how to get in touch with their ‘female’ side, and this puts them at a disadvantage.”

The author assures women that, with the benefit of being ‘biologically wired to succeed,’ they can seduce men without sex and manipulate without malice! “If we play our hand correctly, we can work alongside men as equals, and when the time comes, we can protect them, lead them to greatness, and even make them better men – at least the ones who have room for improvement.” For, “a good man is hard to make.”

To women who want to get to the top, a secure and comfortable job can be an enemy. Find, therefore, a mess and fix it, urges DiSesa. “Find something that looks so impossibly beyond repair that fixing it will earn the respect and admiration of everyone.”

Part 2 of the book is about ‘weapons’ that women need in the battle to break into the boys club. Check, for example, if you can read a room at a single glance, or tell a lot about a man by learning to read the subtle signals he sends out.

A handshake, though, can be harder as a means of reading, the author cautions.

Reason: “They’re cheating. They’re reading books, those little rascals. Now they know they’re supposed to take a woman’s entire hand comfortably and securely and look her right in the eye upon greeting. They practise this. It makes it harder to recognise a friend from a foe…”

But here is a way, suggests DiSesa. While they are shaking your hand in this practised, politically correct way, you have to draw them out, she instructs.

“You can do this by testing what will make them laugh or at least smile at you with a quick handshake quip.”

A fast verbal jab, in short, when you have them in your grasp and they least expect it! Then there are the pitfalls to steer clear from — ‘the seven deadly sins in boys clubs’ — such as humility, timidity, and hypersensitivity.

Most of these sins can be avoided if we just muster up enough confidence to stand up and be counted, observes DiSesa.

“We need to stand up in a lot of ways: to get attention, to receive and accept praise, to deflate bullies, and sometimes just to be heard.”

A book you would like to S&M – study and master, that is.

BookPeek.blogspot.com

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Women are ‘biologically wired to succeed’