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STORY so far: Many of today's business problems have been foreseen by epics and other ancient writings, I learn. Getting things done may have to graduate from gentle persuasion to incentives, from ploys to pink slip, and even plain deception. I get the chance to sit through as a judge at the oratorical competition organised by the ICAI for its students and find that presentations are enthusiastic, even though out of sync with ground realities.

Episode 44

Friday. It seems as if all the women in the city have converged at temples for auspicious offerings, and there is festive atmosphere everywhere. `Laksmi puja,' somebody was saying, even as I prepared to start my bike. `Perhaps, it can give a boost to the scrips,' I thought, ceteris paribus.

If the markets were to keep hovering around the slump for longer, there could be more people resorting to divine intervention for any recovery, I mused. But goddess of wealth would shower her blessings only if somebody worked for it, won't she, and so I rev up the bike and join the traffic stream, down Cathedral Road.

*********

There was the buzz of the intercom, no sooner than I reached my desk. `Swati,' called the boss. `There is an invite from the Income-tax Department. Thought I could give that to you.'

I wondered what the missive could be. `A call for hearing,' I guessed, `for assessment year 1998-99?' I had forgotten whatever I had studied in the `direct taxes' paper for CA Final, and much before that `income tax' at PE II. And if the officer were to ask me questions on Section wrong-number, would I be able to cite circular this-slash-that or notification something-something? Why should law be so complex? Or, am I getting too forgetful? If tax is the plucking of goose feathers without the poor creature suffering any pain, why should we go through a tax routine that looks as deadly as a visit to the dentist, I wondered while opening the door of boss's cabin.

`Here,' he pushed the envelope and I opened it with trepidation, but to my great relief, it was the invitation for the inauguration of e-return at the ITO. `That's in appreciation of,' the boss began to say, and I almost blurted out, `my sincere work', but the boss completed: `the company being a regular taxpayer all these years.' And paying high too, I thought, because the accounts department was all the time cutting too much from our monthly payslips.

*********

At the ITO, the function was a smooth affair. One speaker explained how the US counterpart body, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), had e-filing in place. `Who can use this program and what equipment do I need to e-file my return from home?' is one of the questions at the IRS site. And the answer: `Anyone can use this program. Access to a personal computer is necessary. Software can be purchased, downloaded off the Internet or accessed on-line. A modem is used to conveniently, quickly, and safely transmit your return and receive proof of acknowledgement.'

At 1 per cent error rate, the system looks great, and this year, they have introduced `select your PIN' system to obviate signatures. After the return is transmitted, the electronic return transmitter informs the filer whether the return has been accepted or rejected by the IRS. Interestingly, if the return is not accepted, `the electronic return transmitter, as part of customer service, will assist in the correction process'.

Another speaker highlighted how the UK's Inland Revenue is just about three years ahead of us. Since April 2000, they have been providing an Internet service for self-assessment that allows most individuals to send their tax returns over the Net. Instead of PIN, they use Unique Taxpayer Reference (UTR).

The Chief Commissioner of IT spoke at length about the new scheme of electronic furnishing of returns of income named `e-Return'. Though currently available only to salaried taxpayers assessed at Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Chennai, Delhi, Hyderabad, Kolkata and Mumbai, soon we could be having paperless filing for other categories of taxpayers in more places.

*********

The buffet that followed was all fun, with people sharing jokes that were getting rehashed for the n{+t}{+h} time and humour picked off the Net. `If a lawyer and an ITO were both drowning, and you could only save one of them,' asked somebody with a plateful of eats next to me. `I think... ' I began but he went on to finish the question: `Would you go to lunch or read the paper?'

Another was looking wiser. `For every tax problem there is a solution,' he said and I listened to him intently. `And that is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong.' There was that usual round of laughs, and the motivation for another to come with a rejoinder: `People who complain about paying their income-tax can be divided into two types,' he paused. `Men and women.'

There was more. Why do sharks not attack tax auditors? Answer: Professional courtesy. How would an ITO define death? To stop paying taxes suddenly. Somebody narrated an anecdote: A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, `Balu, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.' `And what,' his friend asked, `do you want me to do with your ashes?' The businessman said, `Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the ITO and write on the envelope, `Now you have everything.'

At the mailbox: `Hi Swati,' writes Ram Shankar. My problem is that I am not able to answer the theory papers well. I am unable to get more than 35-40 marks.

How can I utilise the allotted three hours efficiently and attempt all the questions? I am unable to pass the PE II (missing the target 150 by just 3 marks in the first group and by 5 marks in second group) . In the group II, I find the financial management and IT papers tough. Also, how can I apply sections and case laws in the corporate law paper? Please give me some suggestions for the November 2003 exams. Waiting for your advice.

Hi Ram, I am sure you have been preparing studiously for the exams. Yet, going by the statistics that you have given — falling short by just 3 marks and 5 marks — it looks like you are almost making it across the well. Here, take my simple advice: Stop thinking negatively, and tell yourself `I can make it!' With less than three months to go for the exams, I seriously suggest that you take at least two model papers for each subject under examination conditions.

(To be continued)

Swati_CA@hotmail.com

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