Around 11.30 on Saturday, there was call on my mobile. “Mr Subramani?” asked a female voice at the other end. It sounded a bit familiar to a couple of calls that I had got earlier. I got alert to the situation and began to talk in Tamil. “ Amam, enna venum ?” (Yes, what do you want?).

The woman asked: “Do you know English or Hindi?” I simply said: “ Engirindho Tamil Nattukku call kooduthuttu English theriyuma, Hindi theriyumannu ketta eppadi ? (From somewhere, you call me up in Tamil Nadu and ask me if I know English or Tamil?” As I got ready to dodge her further, she disconnected the call.

Don’t think I am parochial because this was a deliberate attempt to turn humorous a situation that could have seen me yelling or swearing or even abusing that person in Hindi.

The same voice called me a few months ago and popped the very same question first. Enthusiastically, I said yes. The woman then said: “There is a case under Section 420 filed against you in Delhi consumer court…” I was in a hurry to go out somewhere that day and the very mention of fraud (Section 420 is filed for such issues) I lost my cool and began shouting at her in Hindi. My wife and son came rushing and wanted to know what happened.

When I told them, they had only one thing to tell me: “Why couldn’t you simply disconnect instead of shouting like this?” That argument hardly made any impression on me because I thought here was someone trying to extract money from me.

A few weeks later, again I received a call from the same person. The moment she mentioned the section, I lost my cool again. I was unwilling to let her or the persons behind her go. I called up the number from my landline and now began to probe them, saying I was calling from the Tamil Nadu police department.

From the other side, the reply was cool: “We are calling from the Delhi Consumer Affairs Information Department!”. My action didn’t amuse anyone at home.

“Hand me over your mobile the next time you get the call. I will simply talk in Tamil and let me see what they can do,” ordered my wife.

Then, it struck me that I have dodged some calls from firms offering holidays earlier. This happened a few years ago when one particular firm offering holiday package called me at least once a week. The person on the other side would egg me on to visit their office with my wife.

Having heard from friends, how these firms can fool you into buying a holiday package, I was determined never to visit their office. So one of the days when I was in a jovial mood, I got a call from the company.

When the caller extended the invitation, I told her: “I don’t have a family.” She then said: “Sir you can bring your parents or..” I replied: “No, I don’t have anyone.” Luckily for me, she disconnected or else I am not sure what I could have replied next. There was also another occasion when I tackled a guy who was harassing one of my colleagues with repeated phone calls. I simply told him that if he had guts he could come to our office and see what happens. But he continued his verbal abuse. I could have replied in kind but being in office, it was a luxury I couldn’t afford.

So, when he uttered a particular word, I began to respond in a humorous way. When he continued with the name-calling, I told him: "Why are you giving your family members' names without asking?" At that he snapped.

That ended his harassing calls to my colleague. These incidents encouraged me to have fun at the cost of these fraud callers. So, when I got a call a few days ago, I began to talk in Tamil. The call was disconnected. Then came this call on Saturday. Often in life, we are forced to come across such situation.

These experiences help us not only to tackle such fraudsters but also make light of a tight situation. It is not possible to get the law act against them. Nor do we have time to follow up such things. Sometimes, they can raise our blood pressure or leave us with a prolonged foul mood. The best thing then is have fun at their cost. Maybe, the next time such a call comes I could test my knowledge in Telugu. Or even, as my colleagues say, begin murdering Malayalam!

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