The Hindu Business Line : Solace in solitude

Divya Radhakrishnan is in a tearing hurry to reach Vashi in Navi Mumbai and meet up with her friends for her favourite buffet at the famous Punjabi diner Chenab. Driving down from Andheri, she is quite excited about the evening. Most of her friends are guys and, according to her, she never feels she is a woman all alone in a pack of men.

As Vice-President, Rediffusion, Divya has never felt that men are an oppressive lot. As a single woman she lives with her parents at Juhu and says she is rather lucky to have understanding people around her. Especially since her parents are not the types who would lose sleep over her single status.

"They give me my space and I am quite lucky to be having an almost perfect life," she says. She is single because she chooses to be so. "It's a personal decision. Why should there be such a hype or hoopla about it? After all, no one asks bachelors why they didn't tie the knot. But where single women are concerned, it becomes a gender thing. I feel I owe a lot in my professional life to my single status," she says.

Like Divya, a growing number of professionals prefer to stay single to concentrate on their careers without the encumbrance of a husband and family. Though no statistics are available, many even feel that one's success is directly proportional to the distance one maintains from matrimony.

Kavita Bagga, Brand Manager, Pepsi.

But is there a subtle shift in the attitude of colleagues at workplace towards single women? "Frankly it depends on the work culture of an organisation," says Kavita Bagga, Brand Manager, Pepsi. "My organisation is very non-sexist, liberal and dignified. Most professionals are now coming to realise that these days corporate women are single out of choice and not out of compulsion; hence they are all the more respected for their decision. Also lunch break conversations go beyond discussing diapers and mothers-in-law. We single women definitely make good company, so I hope."

Madhu Chhibber, Director, Good Relations.

Madhu Chhibber, Director, Good Relations, adds, "One's marital status hardly matters at the workplace. All that counts is your professional capability and ability to deliver results. Success, as a matter of fact, is all about competence."

Abhilasha Jain, Industry Servicing Manager - India, Tourism Australia.

But Abhilasha Jain, Industry Servicing Manager, India, Tourism Australia, is single, confident and rather surprised at being asked how she copes with her single status in a man's world. She feels that for corporate women, a single status is okay in big cities such as Mumbai, Delhi or Chennai. But in smaller towns it can get uncomfortable. All the same, she says, "That would not frighten me into marriage."

Freedom and independence

Divya, Kavita, Madhu and Abhilasha are representative of successful professionals who have challenged the notion that without marriage a person is incomplete. Their reason for choosing to be so could be their frenetic schedules or ambitions to study higher or, as many of them put it, because a single status grants them freedom and independence.

"The two main causes for this growing trend of single women are higher and specialised education and the need to excel in one's career. Both these pursuits leave little time for marriage," says 38-year-old Vinita Michael, the CEO of Vedam Software. Operating from her office on Delhi's Barakhamba Road, she keeps a hectic schedule.

Vinita's day begins at 8.30 a.m. and extends to 9.30 p.m. A post-graduate in computer sciences from the University of California, her clients are spread across the US, Europe and South-East Asia. She is the eldest of three siblings, stays with her parents and has remained single, as she had "neither the inclination nor the time for marriage."

"You cannot solely measure success or failure with being single or married. There are so many other factors which contribute to the professional fortunes of a person," says Vinita, adding, "There's no doubt that a single woman can devote far more time to her professional life than a married person. Thus by the law of averages, chances of success become higher."

But Mumbai-based Nandita Singa, Managing Director, Tez Entertainments, disagrees. "Success at the workplace is always a collective team effort. One needs to be a consistent team performer to be a good manager. Nothing can be achieved single-handedly. So being single or married is meaningless here."

Since single women can devote more time at the office as they don't have other responsibilities, is there a tendency to pile them with more work? Nandita Singha feels that there is no tendency to pile extra work on single women on the pretext that they don't have any other responsibilities. The head of a 300-strong entertainment software and video conferencing company who's client base includes names such as Hindustan Lever, Philips, Ranbaxy, Proctor and Gamble, the Indian army and many more, says "I have never encountered any such thing. Ever since I started my career I have been working for 14 hours and wasn't left with any more time to work on any other thing. In any case I wouldn't let anyone pile me with work just because I am single. I may not have a husband but I sure have a life,"

Flexible schedules

But Madhu Chibber feels there's some truth in the perception that a woman's single status tends to give others the impression that work is the central focus of her life. "It's the sub-conscious perception of many that a single person can go the extra mile to get a job done. This may be true as we can have more flexible schedules than our married colleagues."

However, Abhilash Jain feels that women should not let their single status become the reason for feeling under siege as far as work goes. "Yeah, we all work but I will never let anyone buffet me around. My being single has nothing to do with the job I do."

Kavita feels that being single is both a boon and a bane at the workplace. "It's a bane because you do not have as many responsibilities as married women and hence are expected to be flexible with timings or schedules. It is a boon it is indeed true. It gives the freedom to stretch yourself and dedicate your time more wholeheartedly to work rather than worry about kids getting addicted to Fashion TV or smoking with friends, or the husband taking his secretary to dinner while you burn the midnight oil!"

Though there are no management studies on the subject, like Kavita, a growing number of professionals feel that a single person can pursue his or her professional calling with more dedication.

Says Vinita, "Sometimes I have to be at an overseas client's office in a matter of days. All I do is pack my bags and catch the next plane to my client's country. Had I been married, my family would have resented it and even I would have had second thoughts about keeping such a crazy schedule. Or worse, maybe my husband would not have liked me working with so many men."

Divya says that single women should not be touchy about male colleagues at the workplace. "If you are in the corporate world, it's imperative to take things in your stride. Loose talk happens, but it never grows beyond limits. Sexual discrimination or worse could be something of concern in other fields but a creative field like the ad world is relatively free from it."

Most single women feel that the attitude of the men solely depends on how they conduct themselves. Whether professional or social behaviour, it is these women's attitude that sets the tone. If they put forward a confident face, then everyone treats them with dignity and respect.

Abhilasha narrates an incident. In an earlier assignment, her boss kept asking her out and she kept saying no. "I had to tell him bluntly that so far I had not dated married men and when I would, I'd definitely go out with him."

However, it did not end at that. The harassment continued in even subtle ways — like not appreciating her work and pointing out small mistakes. She finally left the job. For single women the gender issues are real, she says. Even now, despite her senior position in Tourism, Australian clients usually ask to take her out. Abhilasha laughs off these advances with a "`Good. Let me invite my boyfriend too.' That puts them off."

However, Pepsi's Kavita feels single women are more at peace professionally. She adds, "How much ever married people may try, personal stress does at times creep into their workplace. The only stress I go through when working late is `who will water my plants'. I think I can live with that pressure!"

Are there any disadvantages of remaining single? Just one, she says. "Single people are perceived to be more casual and bohemian. Marriage gives the license to choose between a wailing child or a wailing boss."

Newsmen Features

Article E-Mail :: Comment :: Syndication :: Printer Friendly Page

Stories in this Section
Single and homeless

Mumbai's single women

Single moms

Ready to mingle?

A tough climb

Looking beyond deposits...

Solace in solitude