“If you are a part of a mess, you better stick around and clear it up” was the more difficult, but correct way to behave.

“But why do you call him a teacher?” asked my intrigued friend. “Is he an academic type?” Far from that, I thought, despite the Harvard logo emblazoned on his t-shirt as we sat down to chat. An academic type is normally someone who works for an educational institution. A teacher is someone who imparts knowledge.

Gopal is a very attentive listener and someone who cannot help imparting knowledge as he talks. “Learning from success stories is very helpful, but why don’t you think of finding out what people have learned from setbacks and disappointments?” he says. “These incidents that occur in everyone’s lives can be great opportunities to learn from.”

“So why don’t you tell me what you have learned from a setback in your life?” I ask him. He smiles widely as he says, “I walked into that one.”

He needs to think a while, probably because setbacks are not things that one normally associates with such an illustrious career.

He then narrates an incident where he was told of a large fraud that had occurred in his area of work. Being a young and very successful manager, it obviously came as a shock to him. The very first reaction was denial. He is actually explaining human behaviour as he tells me the steps the mind normally takes when confronted with such a potentially explosive situation in the work place.

After the denial phase the mind kicks into a phase where it demands more information so that it can buy a little more time to digest and cope with the emerging truth. The mind is also evaluating the responses that would obviously be generated from peers in the organisation. We are all so concerned about how we are perceived. Then there could be the phase where the mind quickly wishes to establish blame, pinpoint fault and get on with life. Gopal preferred to face it head on. He spoke with his mentor, and then took the case to his Chairman (Ashok Ganguly at what was then Hindustan Lever). He even offered to take responsibility and resign. His learning was that quitting was the easy route out of problems. “If you are a part of a mess, you better stick around and clear it up” was the more difficult, but correct way to behave. The incident obviously had a profound impact on the young Gopal.

Shifting gears, I quiz him on how a career professional should balance the increasingly demanding challenges at the work place and still find time to devote to a family. I wonder how he found time to climb steeply at work and still bring up three children who are doing so well and seem to have the right values instilled in them. He is as forthright as always. “It’s really a question of prioritising what is important to you at each stage. Balance is a mental fulcrum. How many times have you met someone who says he has meaning to call you and have a drink with you? You know what that really means? It means you are not a priority for him. If you were, instead of just meaning to call you, he would have just picked up his phone and invited you.” Yet, he seems to admit that devoting sufficient time to a career and “sufficient” time to the family is a tough act. “Every wife you meet will tell you how little time her husband has to spend with the family,” and she might be right.

Gopal is a relatively private person who does not indulge in frenetic socialising. And he makes sure the weekend is for the family. In fact, the Sunday pooja and lunch is a family ritual that is followed rather strictly. He is so organised, he actually sits down with his wife Geeta every Sunday afternoon to match their diaries for the week ahead. And he scoffs at those who feel they are so indispensable they never take a holiday. He not only believes in taking time off but also prefers not to be disturbed on his holiday, unless, of course, it really is something critical.

So what would a respected, successful professional do if he is allowed to retire?

Gopal is succinct as always: “Read, write and play tennis and golf.” He is quite serious about regularly playing tennis (thrice a week) and enjoys the game. The down-to earth Gopal believes that he would rather learn from people who play at his level, rather than try and emulate Federer. “There is a difference between illusion and delusion,” he says, his expressive eyes twinkling. Illusion can be entertaining but delusion is something to avoid. And yes, Gopal the successful author is already at work. He has two books he would like to complete. One is a kind of family anthology. The other is a collection of lessons he has observed and learned from people like his tennis partner or the typical man-next-door. “These are simple yet effective lessons that ordinary people could relate to.”

“One should always have an unfinished agenda,” he says. We couldn’t agree with you more Gopal, keep walking.

(Ramesh Narayan is a communications consultant.)

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