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Gaurav Raghuvanshi

Men and women express themselves differently in their e-mails when coaxing their team to work, says this study.

I WRITE for this supplement every fortnight. There's this editorial team that makes sure articles for the supplement reaches it on time. Come Wednesday, and the e-mail reminders come flying.

As one of the correspondents who is often coaxed, cajoled, flattered or threatened to contribute twice a month, I always found there was a marked difference in the e-mails sent to me by this team, comprising a man and a woman.Now, a study by the Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad, has evidence to back what I always knew - that my male colleague of the editorial team often uses approbation and flattery to motivate us reporters, while the lady's e-mails would easily come on top of the list of the most polite communication.

The study, carried out by Professor Asha Kaul and her Research Associate, Vaibhavi Kulkarni, has come up with marked differences in the way men and women communicate with colleagues over e-mail.

The two researchers sifted through 494 e-mails culled from the junk folders of several leading Indian companies to write the research paper - Coffee, Tea or... ? Gender and Politeness in Computer Mediated Communication (CMC).

The pre-condition was that the mails had to be work-related or task-oriented in which the writer was trying to get a job done from his or her colleague. Here are the key findings.

E-mails written by women showed a greater adherence to the principles of politeness than those written by their male counterparts. Women, however, were also seen to indulge in small talk before they get to the point.

Sample this: "I hope this finds you well. Haven't heard from you for sometime. Was wondering what was happening on the book front. In your last letter we had agreed on February deadline," went a mail written by a woman.

"I hope this finds you well" is the inane talk that the woman who wrote the mail engaged in before asking about the deadline for the book, which was the real point of the e-mail, says Dr Kaul.

Men, on the other hand, use flattery more than women in their e-mails. The sample e-mails communicated praise and approval for the recipient's actions.

Although this might appear to contradict the widely-held belief that women tend to praise and appreciate more, Dr Kaul says it could be attributed to the cultural backdrop in which the mails were written.

Men take on a patronising role and compliment frequently to motivate team members. Both men and women tend to or desire to bond with the recipient through written communication. But the difference between the two sexes is that men attempt bonding through the use of approbation while women do so by making inane talk.

"Men played the role of the head in a patriarchal society, praising and motivating, which is typical of Indian culture. Women indulged in relationship-building by enquiring about the well-being of the recipients and their family members before moving on to work-related topics," Dr Kaul says.

Another interesting aspect the research throws up is that women hesitate to openly contradict or disagree. Their mails were more appeasing and tentative rather than firm and clear. This finding coincides with the existing literature that women tend to qualify and justify their assertions.

"They (women) have a tendency to apologise, express support for others, and in general, manifest an `aligned orientation' towards their interlocutors," she said.

Coming back to the politeness or lack of it in men, Dr Kaul says that the e-mails sent out by men generally adhered to the politeness principle, but violations were also seen in some cases.

The instances of violations were in the nature of `sarcastic politeness' or `camouflaged politeness' and there was a dichotomy between the words used and the intent of the message.

An example: "I can't make a scrapbook as I am not comfortable with the idea. I have not done anything in this regard so far and I would be grateful if you could ask the professor to excuse me from this."

The words "I would be grateful if you could... " suggest politeness and tact, but there is a clear violation of the agreement maxim. The author is not willing to agree with the concept of preparing a scrapbook. The word `grateful' is not being used in the literal sense as the author, although he is tactful, has expressed dissent and disagreement.

But what does the research hope to achieve? Dr Kaul says an understanding of the inter-play of politeness and correct use of language can lead to more effective communication and hence greater cooperation at the workplace.

In fact, she intends to use the results of the study at a workshop being organised by IIM-A on men and women at work next month.

Meanwhile, for me, it's back to my colleagues - the gent and the lady - and their requests for articles.

Picture by K. Ramesh Babu

eworld@thehindu.co.in

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