The Hindu Business Line : Women with enough money!

Laura Rowley is the Personal Finance Columnist for `Self' magazine with over 5 million readers, and here is her new book "Money & Happiness," from Wiley (www.wiley.com) , to debunk the usual `or' between the two important words.

"For some women, money is like a guy who can't commit - it shows up with flowers, wine, and dinner reservations, but disappears at the mere mention of long-term goals. For others, money is like commuting to work; it must be confronted on a daily basis," writes Rowley in the intro. And she talks of `still others', to whom "money is like a computer that arrives in a million pieces - it's exactly what they need, but they have no idea how to make it work for them". What a useful analogy, and I wish somebody wrote likewise for men too!

But why a book for women? Because their money situation is unique, as the author would explain. "We live longer than men; earn less on average; often bear the financial brunt of divorce; and are more likely to drop out of the workforce to care for family members (the average is 10 years." Quite true, you'd agree. And there are more depressing truths: that women are more than twice as likely as men to live their retirement years in poverty, and that a majority of poor elderly widows "were not living in poverty before their husbands died".

The first lesson from Rowley is that you can't separate money and happiness. Wealth is no mere numeric formula, as the difference between your assets and liabilities, she points out. Then, she helps you create your own definition of wealth based on what you truly value through 43 questions that holistically cover basic needs, health, education and so on.

"It's a waste of energy to look around and measure our wealth based on what other people have," advises Rowley. "Using your values as a screen for your money choices can simplify your life and provide more peace of mind." The author's survey of women found that top ratings went to `people' in their lives; "81 per cent said family, 49 per cent said friends." Health came second, with 42 per cent.

"Values are qualities that foster growth," defines Rowley to help you identify the values that are invisible and often elusive. Try out this exercise: "Examine the motives behind your daily activities. Simply questioning why you do something can reveal your underlying values."

If parents have divergent attitudes toward money, "children may gravitate sharply to one style or the other, or end up with deeply conflicted feelings about money," cautions the author. The community, including your contacts and friends, has an influence on how you value and use money. Friends can be money boosters or money busters, alerts Rowley.

A quiz with 45 questions helps you identify your money personality, based on tendencies and motivations. Thus, if you are a `planner', you are "a careful budgeter, cautious spender, and conservative investor". An `adventurer' is "a high-energy optimist" who equates money with freedom and choices. `Indulger' looks at money as "a source of comfort, love, and happiness", with a craving for luxury goods, and "extremely focussed on the present". If you're a `power tripper', money means `success, status, prestige and self-esteem'. Lastly, the `mystic' personality looks at money as an energy force, with its own ebbs and flows. Each personality works both in favour and against, and it is within your ability to make your personality work for you, assures Rowley.

Common myths about money are: `I hate my job, but I can't make a change because I need the money. ... I can't become wealthy because I have no connections. Wealth will turn me into a greedy, materialistic person... ' Rowley takes on each of these to bulldoze them.

Essential read is a chapter titled `how to save'. It lists 50 ways, starting with a take-away tip on grocery shopping: "Control your spending by shopping alone, with cash, and following a list. Never shop when hungry. The most profitable items are at eye-level on the shelf; so look down for better prices." Another chapter assists in preparing your retirement plan with an assortment of bonds and other investments.

The author explores the `money milestones', viz. marriage, changing jobs, buying real estate, and having children. "Money can't make a relationship, but it can surely break it," says Rowley, and cites Olivia Mellan, a psychotherapist, that money represents love, power, security, control, happiness, and self-worth. "Couples tend to polarise around everything. They get in opposition modes and attack each other for their differences." The final chapter exhorts to be open-minded about the ways to achieve your goals. "Never let money stand between you and something you deeply value," writes Rowley, and cites Norman Vincent Peale: "Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that."

Valuable read.

BookValue@TheHindu.co.in

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