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Bharat Savur

Conscious living requires not just the confidence of being physically fit, but a certain level of mental vigilance and vigour.

When informed that his dizzy spells were due to his soaring 180/100 blood pressure, Rustom faithfully began following the doctor's advice: the prescribed pill; daily exercise; low-fat, low-salt food; regular meals; early to rest and rise; daily de-stressing walks.

A few months later, Rustom's blood pressure stabilised to 140/90. Aware it was still borderline hypertension, Rustom wondered how he would bring it to the healthy 120/80 level.

Recently, two readings, a fortnight apart, showed 115/70 and 120/80, something that had never happened before! Rustom's doctor is jubilant. Over the years, most need to double their medications. Whereas Rustom's has remained at the minimum for the 10 years since his dizziness. How did Rustom do it? "I switched from unconscious living to conscious living," he says simply.

Early in life, Rustom's parents left him in his elderly grandfather's care, while they relocated to another town. It left such an impact, that since then, Rustom unconsciously sought the family he felt he never had. And put his friends on a parental pedestal. And, every time they `let him down', his sensitivities emitted fear. If a friend did not call back, Rustom agonised that the friend did not care for him. And, if a friend passed a casual, careless remark, Rustom took it as a personal blow. That, alas, is the power of the mind.

Rust, says spiritualist Trine, is nature's wise provision to disintegrate and scatter to the wind as a preparation to use in new forms that which is outdated and useless. The mind contains this proviso too, but emotions hoard the rust, making no room for fresh perceptions to filter through. The mental tree by clinging to faded leaves of yesteryears allows no fresh buds to spring forth on its branches.

As he got fitter, however, Rustom gained a degree of confidence and self-esteem, and realised that most of his life he'd lived on the effect of his past experiences. From now on, couldn't he be the creator, the cause of experiences to come? Though this dawning awareness was his first step into conscious living, disappointments in friendships continued...

In those years when his blood pressure remained at 140/90, Rustom realised he had to exercise self-control and refrain from meeting friends who added to his fear-levels. His axiom: "If I exercise for one hour, I walk for two hours. And if I walk for two hours, I reflect with gratitude for three hours. It still leaves me nine hours to work, counsel those in my predicament, and do other things."

According to Rustom, those six hours of exercise, walking and reflection continuously focused him on his peaceful inner spaces, even filtering into interactions. To maintain this peace-space, at work, he avoided office-gossip. "If I could be drawn into talking of others behind their back, I would contribute to creating an unkind mental pattern that provokes friendships and destroys peace, and suffer the effects myself," he says. "If I wanted to cause good experiences, I had to work at being my own friend. Create a mental matrix that would help build, rather than destroy my pace. Then perhaps, I'd see friends differently, expect less from them..." There's a quiver in his voice.

Perhaps, Rustom's pain would ease and perceptions clear if he imbibed `Conversations-with-God'-author Neale Donald Walsch's wisdom: "Friendships blossom when they become avenues to one's highest conceptualisation of oneself. Friendships wither when they become avenues to one's highest conceptualisation of others." For, to focus our expectations on others is unrealistic as they have to measure up to their own highest standards.

When the focus of expectations is on oneself then two great changes take place:

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