The Hindu Business Line : Indomitable spirit

Their family was rendered homeless by the tsunami. But there are neither tears nor regrets, only a grim determination to rebuild their lives... together and with hard work.

All her happiness and sorrows, her dreams were in that house so close to the ocean. "Meri puri duniya woh ghar mei thi... ab woh ghar hi nahi raha tau bahut ajeeb lagta hei." (My whole world was in that house... it feels so strange not to have a house any more.) As she starts talking to you, more in Urdu poetry than prose, you wonder at 34-year-old Shabnam's spirit. Because the tsunami waves that hit her little world in Car Nicobar took away every physical possession she and her family had. It swept away their two-storeyed house where she stayed with an extended family comprising her parents, husband and three children aged 18, 16 and 7, her four brothers and their families.

"Kya kuch nahi tha hamarey paas," sighs the woman who is a great fan of ghazals. As she speaks in flawless Urdu, her mother Fatima quickly explains that Shabnam herself used to write ghazals. "She had several notebooks filled with her ghazals. But they were swept away by the tsunami, like everything that we possessed."

Though Fatima has tribal features, Shabnam with her large, sad eyes, looks rather different. And the reason is not far to seek; her maternal grandmother, a Nicobari, had married a Gujarati Muslim from the mainland. She has studied up to Std IX, but talks with a wisdom far beyond her years or educational status.

At first she is reluctant to talk about how the December 26 tsunami changed her life. Father Albinos Barla, supervisor of the relief camp housing about 900 refugees from Car Nicobar island — originally there were 1,900 refugees — keeps teasing her about how she is a woman of few words. But one soon discovers a chink in her armour... her love, bordering on passion, for ghazals.

She is a devout fan of maestros beginning with Mehdi Hasan, Ghulam Ali and Jagjit Singh. But along with her entire house, its belongings and, more important, memories of childhood — she was born in that very house — the waves swept away her entire collection of ghazals... cassettes and CDs... kept in a huge cupboard.

"Ghazal mei dil ko jo chchoo jaye, woh baat milti hei... lekin aaj kal dard ka kuch ehsaas bhi nahi hei; dil ko kuch chhoota bhi nahi hei." (I love ghazals because they touch your heart; but these days I don't even feel pain... in fact, nothing seems to touch the heart.)

But Shabnam grabs your attention because despite her sad eyes and longing for the house that "disappeared totally... . just in the flash of an eye", she has neither tears nor bitterness, and no complaints against anybody. She nods vigorously as her father Ahmed Yusuf says: "What is the use of complaining? Agar insan ne hamara sab kuch chheen liya hota tau ussey shikayat kartey; lekin sab kuch Allah ka diya hua tha, aur unhoney le liya." (If man had snatched away all we possessed, we could have complained; but everything was given by Allah and he took it away.)

Recalling that morning in December, Shabnam says that as strong tremors came one after another and the water started coming in "about five to six minutes. We all ran out of the house. One of my brothers asked for the Quran Sharif, which is always kept on the cupboard. I gave it to him and he ran with it, but later it dropped from his hands as he ran towards the jungle. Actually, he lost even the clothes he was wearing as they were torn away by the trees and the shrubs."

Though not a woman fond of jewellery — she would always shop for household articles "like fancy glasses or different types of crockery. I had a whole room filled with household items" — she recalls with a twinge of regret the gold chain she had recently bought for Rs 20,000, and always wore, that was left on the table the previous night.

"As the water came, I had to take a quick decision — take the chain or grab my 7-year-old daughter Faiza? I can buy a chain again, but can I give birth to her again? And after all what is the importance of a chain in my life? Woh mere liye dua nahi kar sakti; lekin bacche log karengey. (The chain can't pray for me; my children will). Faiza said: `Mummy, take the chain', but I said `forget the chain'."

As she ran, she looked back and saw her entire house crumbling. "Wohi tasweer mujhe bahut taklif deti hei. (That one picture gives me a lot of pain.)"

Adds Fatima, "The one dream I keep getting is about the house. We had named it Roshni." Adds Shabnam. "Ab tau waha andhera chha gaya hei... ekdum veerana hei." (Now there is only darkness and desolation there.)

Describing her brothers' visit to the place, she says, "Thank God, I did not go. I wouldn't have been able to bear that sight... ekdum toot jati (I would have broken down). I asked my brothers to retrieve some pictures from the house and bring them back and they said there is not a piece of stone or wood left. Ekdam safaya ho gaya, jaise zhadu mar diya waha par kisiney. Ab woh jagah hamarey na honey ka saboot deti hei." (As though the place had been swept with a broom. That place today gives evidence on our non-existence).

Slowly Shabnam opens up... to sketch a picture of what once was. "Kya zindigi thi hamari.. aisa kuch nahitha jo hamarey pas nahi tha." (What a life we led; there was nothing that we did not have.) Fishing boats, three colour TVs, a couple of refrigerators, washing machines, mixies of different shapes and sizes. I told you I had a craze for amassing household implements." What about an AC?

"There was no need for one; our house was right in front of the sea and there always used to be a cool breeze coming across. The sea was so dear to us. From childhood we've played in the ocean. My father used to catch fish and we would play there. The same ocean gave us prosperity; from fishing, he next went on to set up a general store where all kinds of items were available. When my brothers grew up my father said there is no point in working for anybody. One should work for oneself. So we bought a jeep, an auto rickshaw and several two wheelers. In the jeep and auto rickshaw my brothers used to drive people around. We had a good income."

Unfortunately, most tsunami victims, including those who were prosperous, do not believe in keeping their cash reserves in the bank. On that morning, in their store, Shabnam's family had kept Rs 6 lakh in cash, and about Rs 70,000 in the house. As for jewellery, she says that she had enough to take care of 7-year-old Faiza's marriage. "Each of us had several pairs of earrings, chains... bangles." But the bangles she now wears are not made of gold. "Sona tau almari mei rakha tha. Humko bahut boj lagta tha sona pahenna. Sadka dena padta hei na uska." (The gold was in the cupboard; I find it such a burden to wear too much of gold.)

You can only marvel at the spirit of the woman, who says all this with no bitterness at all. And, she has little expectation from anybody, including the Government. When asked what kind of compensation they will get from the government, she says, "I have no idea, but am sure of one thing. There is no point in depending on anybody to help you. That is why we want to go back. Agar pankh hotey tau ud kar chali jati abhi mei... (If I had wings I would fly and go back there right now) Can we afford to sit here? If we do that, everything will be over. Apne aap ko dhokha dene barabar hei. We've been sitting here now for 45 days. If we were to get anything from anybody, we would have got it by now. There is no point in waiting for anything anymore... insan khali dilasa mei kitney din jiyega? (For how long can one live on hope?) I want to go back now, but I also have to think of the children's education. Here at least they have some classes; there the schools have been totally destroyed."

But is she confident that good days will return again? "Mehnat karengey tau kya nahi ho sakta? Aur man ekdum saaf hona chahiye ek doosrey ki taraf." (What can't one achieve through hard work, but you should have a clean heart.) Then you can make great progress. If all of us get together and work hard, one day's work can be done in half a day. But sitting here I find all of us getting lazy. With no work for the limbs, I don't even feel hungry. If the body doesn't do some physical work, how can you get hungry or digest what you eat? Sitting like this we are falling sick. And once the mind is idle shaitan apna kaam shuroo kar deta hei. (The devil starts his work)," says the woman.

She is so hardworking that on some days she would set out to the sea for fishing along with the menfolk. The tsunami waves took away every scrap of her worldly possessions... and yet Shabnam is neither bitter nor complaining. She is confident that with hard work she and her family can bring back the glory of earlier days.

Picture by the author

Response can be sent to rasheeda@thehindu.co.in

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