The Hindu Business Line : It's worrying

If bouts of tension and anxiety are hitting you frequently, take a deep breath, calm down and pay attention to what psychological experts say: Tensions rarely arise from financial problems, work-pressures, parents, spouse or children. They are caused by a person's own negative habits and attitude. The interaction between internal qualities and external circumstances produces crushing conflicts.

More than merely venting and getting on with life as usual, it's time to get off the usual. I realised this when a dear friend cried, "I'm tired of being sensible. I just want to be left alone." Tense people need solitude, not solicitude. Sometimes, other people tend to look too much at the `attitude' than the human being below that attitude. The best friends to have around are an unfussy blank sheet of paper and pen. As the pen draws the problems out of the mind and transfers them to paper, something beautiful happens. It's like you've rid your inner gremlins through your writing fingers and created a separate township for them and their noise. What is left behind is not desolation, but rich, lush peace. You don't want to move out of it like you don't want to move out of an exquisitely landscaped Zen garden. It's not escapism; it's the luxury of being free from tension... a luxury you've denied yourself far too long.

The next step is to become sensitive to your needs. Continual tension is a wake-up call to make long-lasting changes. Tension creeps into the mind due to a gradual chipping away of faith. So, it's important to re-affirm faith in our ability and that of our associates to improve and evolve; in the desire and genius of all people to sort out troubles and make life easier. Faith helps us move forward with hope. Hope lifts the tight lid of tension.

Worrying is worthless. Instead, live each day as a full life in which you'd leave a worthwhile legacy and warm feelings. Find time to do small thoughtful acts for others. Sharpen your colleague's pencil. Leave a flower for somebody who is having a bad day. Recently, when Mumbai shook due to a tremor, one of my students said, "I prayed, `Please God, let me live so I can tell my grandmother I love her'."

The tremors of inner tension are no different. They are reminders that each day presents many opportunities to do what you want to do. Tension also seeps in when health is slowly slipping out of the body. Paying attention and acting on it de-stresses. If the words on your PC monitor blur, then clear, then blur again, then it means you need reading glasses. If your eyes burn, cool them with iced rose water. But, also consult an ophthalmologist — test for eyestrain, retina inflammation, etc.

If you can't hear the tick of your clock, check with your ENT specialist. If you live or work in a noisy environment, your inner ear may be gradually losing its hearing. This contributes to tension. Check your resting pulse rate. If it's 60 per minute, that's good. Up to 75 is averagely healthy. Above 75 means your tension is getting to you. As you may already know, the faster the heartbeats, the more stressed your heart. Ninety and above are danger signals. Your cholesterol-level should not be above 200 mg/dl.

Whether you get your blood-cholesterol tested or not, start eating light to lighten up. Foods do affect moods. An oily biryani for lunch, for example, may stimulate your taste buds, but the grease will contribute to your tension and further lower clear thinking and the will to work. The best mood-food is cool, light food — specifically fruits like watermelon, grapes, fresh lime and vegetables like cucumber and white gourd (dudhi/lauki) and tall glasses of cool buttermilk. The advantage of these cooling, healing foods is that your clothes loosen correspondingly — their tightness adds to your tension. Fatless food also staves off diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, arthritis and mechanical disabilities, the development of which over the years would have you completely burnt out.

Every day, throw yourself into some physical activity — exercise, a long walk or jog, gardening, tennis, or squash. Sustained physical activity not only dissipates tension, you come away feeling a sense of quality and freedom in your being. It helps you maintain your perspective, a certain optimistic surge of thoughts like: So what if things aren't perfect, life is still good!

This is a real breakthrough. Not worrying about things you can't change makes you focus better on things you do well. Ultimately, tension's message is: don't snap at the people you love the most, snip the links with ambitious pursuits that are unworthy of you.

The writer is co-author of the book `Fitness for Life'.

Picture by Shaju John

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