The Hindu Business Line : Two and two make...

Family holiday — 1960s: Parents, a Fiat-1100 with carrier, four children, one servant and a dog. No fixed route or timeline as you drove from one end of the country to the other, averaging about 200 km or less a day. Change of plan en route usually cause for much joy and merriment. Standard accommodation, dak bungalows and MES Inspection Bungalows booked months ahead through money order and confirmation received via pre-paid postcard. For on-road entertainment, group songs.

Family holiday — New Millennium: Four people in a large SUV, usually two couples because the children are busy with exams or wouldn't be seen dead on vacation with parents, and a tight schedule averaging more than 500 km a day. Great angst and stress, if anything, is less than perfect. More mobile phones than people, and everybody aiming for that one 12-volt charger. Big stereo, and individual air-conditioner ducts as you groan uphill. And we are the remnants of the cool generation that went to college in the 1970s.

Times change, and so do we. Driving from Delhi to Bangalore in 4-days and 3-nights or flipping from Pune/Mumbai/Bangalore to Goa and back for a weekend is as easy as running a quick engine, tyres, lubricants and coolant check, and getting on the road with a couple of shirts and shorts thrown into the rear, if you are on your own or it's the two-guys-reliving-childhood kind of thing. As a married couple, it is something else altogether. Not impossible but a bit tough, especially if you've been married long enough.

But two couples? With over a century of married life between them? This needs a lot of thought. And, be warned, it'll generate enough memories to last a lifetime.

It requires some advance inputs... even if everyone's known each other for a long time. Especially if everyone's known each other for a long time, and know each other's weaknesses. A very wrongly (or correctly) timed smirk or sarcastic grin is often enough to start the war to end all wars. Which also can be fun. These vacation wars can go past all predicted alignments and loyalties.

Here's the real low-down on these foursome vacations.

While 500 km and more a day is perfectly do-able, it is best to stagger the pace and keep to a maximum of 200 km a day, except for the first day. It doesn't remain a vacation otherwise. And the return trip needs to be stretched out as much as possible. Preferable driving hours are in the middle of the day; nothing that good air-conditioners cannot handle, and well-maintained cars do not overheat anymore. In fact, hot weather daytime driving is the best way to clip along. Everybody else is inside, the roads are clear, and even the dogs are asleep.

Four people in a passenger car would be fine; but the extra headroom and unused space that an SUV provides will go a long way in keeping the peace. Plus, the joy of simply dumping things in the rear, and reaching out for them later. Do make sure, however, that the SUV you use has a private (non-commercial) registration, otherwise general harassment, taxes payable at State borders, permit fees and tolls will be the order of the day.

You will discover brand new patterns of hunger pangs and toilet cycles in people you have known most of your life. The possible permutations and combinations will confound even the brainiest of super-computers. Of the four, at least one will be able to last the whole day without stopping or eating. If you are that one, then discreet reminders to the others before setting off will be helpful, but usually ignored. These are the same people who will then demand stops or food within 15 minutes of setting off. Your average speed will then drop to about 20 kmph even on the fastest of expressways.

By definition, the one person everybody else will pick on by the end of the trip will be the one who takes on most responsibilities and does most of the work. This designation, therefore, needs to be qualified right at the outset and allowances made. You can always get back at everybody once you return home though, if you have not drowned in self-pity before that.

Keeping tab of accounts is essential. The cash bit is easy; however, taking notes using mascara pencils on paper napkins is not smart. The credit card bits are best split halfway down the line at the time of swipe itself. By rights, all expenses would go halfway, even if you drink rum and they drink wine. Add wine to your rum? Even freebies need to be split half-and-half.

Wear and tear as well as potential damage to the vehicle is something that cannot really be figured out. The person who provides the vehicle needs to sort this out before departure. This is an essential element.

Advance planning for peeling off solo or 2 x 2 is advised. After a few days, the sticking together can get to be dicey. And everybody does not have the same tastes. Moreover, the person doing most of the driving will require additional rest periods, so allow for that too. A holiday like this is best done over a week's time, especially if there are the usual workaholics in the group who will get withdrawal symptoms after a few days and make life miserable for the others.

Carrying laptops is not smart. Going into long conversations with office staff while in the car is not smart at all. Trying to micro-manage children or home is absolutely unsmart. But most unsmart of all is being that one person who did not have a bath or wore a smelly shirt before setting off.

There's much more, but you need to go out and discover it for yourself. Find that other couple and go for it now, because at the end of the trip, you will bring back unique memories.

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