The Hindu Business Line : Sense and sensitivity

Sometimes a simple game of snakes and ladders, a bit modified of course, is enough to drive home the message of gender justice... A social initiative in Uttar Pradesh taps offbeat ideas.

What does it mean to be a man?" This question was placed before the men of Barhia Bilari village in Azamgarh district of Uttar Pradesh (UP) during a workshop. There were, of course, several different answers but the implication was similar in most — "A man is he who is superior to others (read women)", and "A man is more powerful than others (that is, women)".

The next question was on wife beating. "We have full rights over our women," said Jhuri. "Men must be able to support their families," said Bajrang Singh. "If a man can provide the food in the household, no one has the right to stop him from doing anything he wants." These men believed that their wives could be "punished" for "not obeying the husband"; "not having meals ready on time"; "going somewhere without her husband's permission"; or for "refusing him sex".

Such exploratory questions were put forward by a local NGO, Gramin Punarnirman Sansthan (GPS), to assess men's attitude towards women, and to try and change the mindset that perpetuates violence within the family.

GPS is part of Men's Action for Stopping Violence Against Women (MASVAW), a network active in UP and Uttaranchal. Says Satish K. Singh of the Lucknow-based Sahayog Society (convenor of MASVAW), "My experience of working with social issues, particularly the status of women, showed that we had to involve the men too. Men are not violent by birth; they become so because of social conditions and the patriarchal values they are brought up with. Male activists like me also realised that we needed to look inwards and train male workers towards gender justice."

In 2001, women's groups in UP had conducted a yearlong campaign titled HISAAB (Hinsa Sahan Bandh... or don't tolerate violence) to create awareness, and to turn violence against women into a public issue. The campaign, which included several male NGO workers, brought to fore the need to reach out to men. And so began the initiative, MASVAW, which was launched in 2002 with 49 NGO partners in UP and four in Uttaranchal. It set out by organising meetings with different sections of civil society — panchayats, educational institutions and organisations employing large numbers of women.

The National Crime Records Bureau ranks UP as the number one State in terms of recorded crimes against women (2001); these include caste-based violence, rape, dowry deaths, molestation and so on.

While a third of all dowry murders reportedly occur in UP, MASVAW says that during their initial meetings (in 2002), 46 per cent of the men admitted perpetrating physical violence against women.

While developing training material for NGOs for work in rural areas, Singh says simplicity and local needs were kept in mind. The flashcards used by the NGOs, for instance, have simple illustrations alongside the text in Hindi.

Games are important at these workshops. In Vishayi village in UP's Barabanki district, for instance, a very effective game was played among an all-male group of small traders, farmers and students. Two men were selected from the group and each was given a particular task to complete. While the first man could go about his task independently, the second man was required to depend on the instructions of several other men. In addition, he was not allowed to speak.

Predictably, the first player finished his task quickly, while the second faltered repeatedly and was confused by the different instructions he got. "For the gathering, it was the first taste of what it means to be a woman. The purpose (of the game) is to make men understand how domination and powerlessness affects the decision-making abilities and self-esteem of women," says a trainer from Vigyan Foundation, a local NGO.

Another instructive game is an improvised version of `snakes and ladders'. The playing area is drawn in chalk on the floor. Two men are asked to stand behind the `start' line; and one of them plays the role of a woman. The players' movement is directed by the trainer who reads out different statements from a set of flashcards. So, when the trainer reads out "Celebrations! A boy is born," the man steps up. If "Gloom. It's a girl" is read out, the `woman' steps down. Covering an individual's life cycle, the game soon makes it clear that the man outpaces the `woman' and reaches the `Finish' line much ahead.

This game makes men at the workshops both uneasy and thoughtful about the underlying message of discrimination and injustice; the workshop reinforces their willingness to change.

Other workshops focus on women's health or girls' education. Men are encouraged to understand why it may be necessary for pregnant women to rest or avoid strenuous work. Fathers are encouraged to send daughters to school and plan for their education rather than save money for dowry. In schools and colleges, the workshops are aimed at sensitising male students against sexual harassment.

The NGOs also approach factory owners to persuade them to give women workers a better deal both in terms of wages and the daily work atmosphere, which is often abusive.

Through a sustained campaign, particularly in the rural belt, a gradual change is being observed, says Singh. Sometimes this shows up in the eagerness of a participant to share his experiences. Dinesh K. Maurya, who participated in a workshop in Vishayi, said that he initially found the idea of sharing chores at home quite galling. But gradually, his attitude changed and now he is proud that he helps his wife in the kitchen and looks after the children when necessary.

The women too are observing a change. In Barhia Bilari, women say their men are now more interested in sending the girls to school. At other places, girl students say there is a drop in harassment at their institutions. At Varanasi's Kashi Vidya Peeth, where MASVAW runs a programme in collaboration with a local women's organisation, girl students are also encouraged to take part in the discussions with the male students.

A beginning has definitely been made. But it has to continue and spread in order to make a real difference. Says Singh: "I have to believe that society will change. Ensuring gender justice is not just a women's issue; it is a social issue. And men have a role to play too."

Women's Feature Service

Picture by A. Roy Chowdhury

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