The Hindu Business Line : Go... with the flow

If you don't act on stress, stress acts on you. So, first of all find out why you are stressed. Stress can be an ally — an indication of useful discomfort. It tells you that you are not being true to yourself, your values, and what's important to you. And, by allowing this, you are nibbling away at your natural strength. That's why you feel exhausted, weak, dispirited, and well... stressed! So how do you handle it?

Turn stress into gold, say new-age alchemists. It's based on the ancient alchemy tenet: Use anything and everything as a means to become your healthiest, highest self. In practice, it means: `Talk and listen to yourself with lion-hearted honesty and solidly well-meaning intentions'. Ask and answer these nine questions with unflinching courage.

What fear keeps me from being true to myself?

The fear of rejection. Dr Theodore I. Rubin, author of Compassion and Self-Hate, advises pragmatism. "Embrace rejection. Say `Sometimes I'll be accepted and sometimes I'll be rejected'."

In which situations am I false?

When you're trying to please somebody/everybody. Anthropologist and author of How To Find Happiness And Keep It, Ashley Montagu simplifies it, "Why not just be a warm, loving human being who lives as if to live and love were one?" You don't have to stray from your values for that — rather, you add value to your relationships and create a beautiful stress-free environment.

Who am I avoiding instead of communicating with?

A problem postponed is a burden shouldered. Speak up... write a letter... have your say.

Am I holding back where I should be more giving?

Vedic sages call this `mental constipation'. Justifying `not giving' as good for the other does not lighten you.

Am I refusing to receive?

Your pride fends off timely support, inspiration and warm companionship. The ancient Chinese said, "He who asks may be a fool for five minutes. He who doesn't is a fool for a lifetime." Learn to receive gracefully.

Why am I not listening to me?

Your own instinct is your greatest guide. Listen to yourself, it's liberating.

What is this (negative) situation or person teaching me?

When you stop condemning and start commending you lead a bigger, more harmonious life.

Can I be more alert?

Yes. You could be fogged because you're trying too hard. Make `Work smarter, not harder' your motto. Less effort often unfolds more wisdom. Get quality sleep and adequate exercise — they expand your alertness time-span.

How can I be sick less often?

By adopting a more relaxed approach. Remember that a stressed mind makes a mental issue of everything; a relaxed mind introduces mental healing into everything. Whenever you feel stressed, lie down. Press and move your palm in circles over your chest and around your navel to spread waves of well-being. Stress, a meaningful process, is an inner plea to be more open, honest, true, and even more aware.

What do I mean by `more aware'? Ralph W. Trine in his book, In Tune With The Infinite, says, "Your current of thought connects you with a similar order of thought from another." Meaning, if your thought is stressful, you connect with stress from another. So, not only should you avoid stressful people, you must ensure that others don't avoid you because they find you stressful! With awareness, gradually step into a more relaxing, yet productive lifestyle. Learn to discern what truly gladdens you as against what you do mechanically. Five tips:

Choose thoughtful actions, not tiresome rituals.

Aim for godliness, not God.

Enhance your self-worth, not net-worth.

Exercise twice a day, if once neither relaxes nor cheers you.

Consciously swerve away from negativity. The more often you swerve, the nimbler your spirit and brighter your mood.

Finally, some mind-strengtheners.

It doesn't matter if the odds are against me today, because I know the evens are all with me.

When everything fails, it means I should relax and start a fresh new trail to success.

When everything turns to ashes, be practical — empty the ashtray.

Simultaneously, follow some purifying practices for three days:

Drink 10-12 glasses of water.

Sprinkle lavender oil on your pillowcase for a deep sleep.

Soak your feet in salt and mint water to relax.

Eat light: Add jeera, haldi, hing, salt, two cups of water to half a cup of moong dal and rice, and boil. Have the khichdi with a vegetable-fruit salad for all meals.

Exercise to a point where you get a stretched `aah' feeling in muscle and mind.

Go on a mental fast — no negative thoughts. When you find yourself going effortlessly with the flow of everyday life, you will know you have turned stress into gold.

The writer is co-author of the book, `Fitness for Life'.

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