The Hindu Business Line : IT crowd has no time for sex

People don't have sex only for sexual pleasure; there are a number of reasons... as a reward or punishment or revenge, to defy authority, overcome loneliness or to prove to yourself you're still attractive.

LIFETIME INSIGHTS: Dr Reddy finds today's Indians more willing to discuss sexual problems. - Bijoy Ghosh

There is a lot more casual sex in our society and contrary to popular belief, the young IT/BPO executives have little time for sex, says Dr D. Narayana Reddy, Consultant - Sexual Medicine, who has been selected for the "lifetime achievement award" for 2007 by the World Association of Sexology.

Excerpts from an interview:

Would you say most sexual problems are physical or emotional?

Earlier it was thought a purely emotional or mental issue. But as medical technology advanced, we picked up physical causes. I'd say we have to evaluate on individual basis; generally people below 35 might have psychological or interpersonal problems, but above that age-group physical factors may be involved.

What is the most common problem you see?

In men, it is premature ejaculation and this cuts across all age-groups.

What about impotence?

Thanks to Pfizer's Viagra, we see this more but what is thought of as ED (erectile dysfunction) is not always so. As far as the patient is concerned, he is not able to perform and is not bothered what label you give his ailment.

And Viagra or its clones help?

It does wonders, provided we choose the right client for this medicine. I find this the only scientifically proven medicine for a sexual problem today.

But Viagra is so expensive!

Yes, a tablet costs Rs 500 plus taxes. Indian brands cost Rs 30 or less.

But are they as effective?

Yes, except for very marginal difference due to better manufacturing practices. Just like gold purity.

In our society men come forward for sexual problems, but what about women?

Women are coming now or make their husbands come because they are not satisfied, and want to enhance pleasure in sex.

Do you see more young women?

No, it is the older women who come. After the late-1990s when I wrote in Tamil magazines, many women started seeking help or fixing appointments for their husbands.

Do you see a regional, communal or cultural divide in your patients?

The North-Eastern women, whom I see in Apollo, are much more open. But now South Indian women are also opening up. They might not use the right words, but they come and ask for help.

Of course, I can't solve everybody's problems because expectations are very different. Some want a quick-fix solution that is not possible and some ask for herbal preparations, which I can't give!

But the real issue is that we have to find a cause. For ED the cause may be depression; so he has no desire, or he might be on anti-depressants, which affect his erection. So I tell them to either stop the medicine or wait till the course is over.

What about extra-marital or pre-marital sex; do you see this more in the young IT/BPO crowd, as in these offices young men and women work together in large numbers?

Actually there is a paradox; these people have absolutely no time for sex. Work timing is the culprit; I see couples where the husband leaves in the morning, comes back in the evening, and the wife leaves at noon and returns late in the night and wants to sleep after that. They have a problem.

Also during travel, a lot of extra-marital sex happens, as the opportunity is available in hotels. Also, many of these people spend more time with their colleagues than spouses.

Is it a physical or emotional need?

The physical needs are tremendous; cultural conditions vary but the biological need is the same.

So are marriages breaking?

Yes, definitely. People working in BPOs have no time for sex. They get married thanks to social or parental pressure, the women are not able to get pregnant because of inadequate sex or the kind of sex they should have. The pressure comes for a child. They run to infertility clinics and then the man is asked to have sex on particular days only, and on that particular day he might not be able to get an erection.

So how do they solve the problem?

I explain to them; if they can understand it is fine, if not I have to resort to Viagra. If the demand and pressure is so high, there is no other option.

Viagra or Indian drugs?

Indian drugs, because they are much cheaper. Ranbaxy, Sun, Cipla... about 20-25 companies make them, the average price being Rs 15-18. But some prefer Viagra.

Do you counsel patients who're having affairs? Are you concerned?

I am concerned, being a member of society and father of two children... not at the act per se but if they'll be able to handle the consequences.

But being a professional I don't take a judgemental stand, but do ask them: `Have you thought about the consequences; if you can't handle them don't go ahead.'

Do people admit freely that they're having an affair?

Oh yes. You'll be surprised to know that in a particular orthodox community concentrated in West Mambalam/Mylapore in Chennai, a lot of pre and extra-marital sex is going on. For instance, engineering students from smaller towns come to Chennai and take up PG accommodation. The man of the house is out the whole day, supplements his income by being an LIC agent, etc, the children go to school and the woman is stuck at home with little to do. And Tamil magazines and TV serials — Hindi, Tamil, and Telugu — are filled with extra-marital affairs, making these women wonder if there is something missing in their lives.

Thus the affair starts and if the boy fails to perform or can't get an erection... he might be scared... the woman is upset. Already she has crossed the Laxman rekha, and insults him asking what he'd do after marriage. So he comes to the clinic, sometimes the woman comes with him.

That is amazing; these women are not afraid of being seen at your clinic?

No, but they won't acknowledge me in a party or a wedding; but they come to the clinic, discuss their problems, cry, and even talk about the problems they face with their husbands.

So you also play the role of a shrink!

Yes, and you need time to listen to your clients.

In my first year of practice I had 32 clients; I ran a polyclinic to make a living. Today I don't have time; people need to talk. I see 25-30 clients and I'm having a burnout syndrome. I can't turn out people, and sometimes the quality of work suffers.

What kind of time do you spend with your clients?

Some take only 10 minutes, some need 90 minutes as they need to talk. And women are very forthright. Whether the housewife who first brought her husband to me for treatment, but he didn't turn up after two sittings. Two years later she came to me saying she was having an affair with his assistant but couldn't achieve orgasm. When I suggested it might be guilt she shot back: "What guilt? I gave him a long rope but he was not interested." Or the 40-year-old bank officer, whose husband was not asking for enough sex, making her wonder if she was not attractive or desirable anymore. Once during a tour with her male colleague, she made the first move, just to check if she was desirable, he responded and when she didn't oblige later, started blackmailing her.

She couldn't handle it and confessed to her husband and he demanded she give up her well paying job.

That is the stage they came to me. People don't have sex only for sexual pleasure; there are a number of reasons... as a reward or punishment or revenge, to defy authority, overcome loneliness or to prove to yourself you're still attractive.

When a man is impotent the girl's parents make a hue and cry, demand a divorce, when today this is treatable for most people and new drugs are coming in. But when a husband is abusive, beats and tortures his wife, the parents advise her not to break the marriage. This amazes me because it is so much more damaging to the woman.

What about the future of this speciality?

The future is tremendous, I'm happy because it vindicates my decision. When I started practice 30 years ago, my family wondered if I'd be able to make a decent living.

In the mid 1980s and early 1990s I struggled, but once Viagra hit the market in 1998 and got phenomenal exposure, this speciality got a boost. People realised qualified people can help them, and it encouraged companies to put more money for research programmes, looking at it as a lifestyle disorder.

Now we find ED is an early indicator of a forerunning major health problem such as heart attack, retina damage, kidney problem, etc and should be treated as a warning signal for these ailments. In ED there is damage to the endocrine and after all, the endocrine is the inner lining of any blood vessel. If there is damage here, it can be in other blood vessels too; this being a narrow vessel it manifests much earlier. So when I prescribe drugs, I also prescribe a treadmill test if the patient is above 30.

But sometimes heart attacks have been reported after Viagra consumption.

No, the heart attack is not due to Viagra; it is like flogging a sedentary man who can't even climb a few steps without gasping. Because of Viagra, he can perform a second time and quite often he overdoes it, taxes the heart and collapses.

Response can be sent to rasheeda@thehindu.co.in

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