The Hindu Business Line : The key to success

It is said you should never ask a woman her age or a man his salary. Touted as the world's youngest motivational speaker, Anuj Khare doesn't like to reveal his age. "I hope there is no discrimination in terms of age as far as the world of self-help authors or motivational speaking is concerned. The wisdom I put forth in my seminars or books is age old and timeless, and having spent a decade in this field, I can confidently say that my relatively young age helps in being more open-minded about the transformations I bring about, and ensures that my approach is all practical."

A graduate in Computer Science from the Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi, he pursued his Masters in Computer Engineering from the University of Texas, Austin, US. His continued education includes Reiki certification, NLP Training and learning from Anthony Robbins, a recognised authority on Peak Performance; Frank Zane, a winner of the Mr Universe contest; and Erin Brockovich, the file clerk who went on to become a high-profile environmental activist.

"More than learning about what they had to offer, I learnt a lot about their personalities and what made them click. During my one-on-one weight training session with Frank Zane, I learnt more about what it takes to be a super achiever. I understood that it requires continuous and consistent commitment."

Khare has also authored best-selling books, Psychology of Success in IIT-JEE, Science of Achievement and Mercedes & The Missing Clock — a fable on time mastery. He is currently serving as Managing Director, Appin Group of Companies, based in Texas with businesses spanning from technology outsourcing, empowerment, IT security and high-end technology training and presence in three continents. Appin Group spends a portion of personal and corporate funds in areas such as technical education in rural areas and motivating primary and middle school students to study.

Living in the present

Khare is a man of many parts — entrepreneur, guide, author, philosopher, and adventurer. He shrugs them off saying "these sound like big words but in reality are simple adjectives. I see a strong correlation between all the subjects I studied, as they are all unique ways of finding solutions to common problems. I spent quite some time in the wild and ashrams in different parts of the world such as India (Himalayas), the US (California), and Japan (Shizoka near Mt Fuji) doing self exploration. I believe a person is who he is because of his beliefs. The most universal things in life can be interpreted by different people differently. My interpretations have led me to live by a certain school of thought."

Khare is credited with having "discovered the door to living life in the timeless dimension of the present".

But isn't this something that ancient spiritual disciplines, like Zen Buddhism, have always sworn by? He explains that most of the learning that he shares with people in the form of books, audio programmes and seminars comes from diverse traditional schools of thought such as the Bible, Bhagwad Gita, Dalai Lama, Osho, Anthony Robbins, Martin Luther King, Dale Carnegie etc. "I share my beliefs with people in a language they understand and find it easy to implement. As I share in Mercedes & The Missing Clock, the key to living a fulfilled life lies in understanding of two entities — science of achievement and art of fulfilment. Renunciation and Zen principles are definitely one form of discovering the meaning of life."

How does he provoke others to seek this door, to step out of the world of past and future? "The process begins with instilling a desire to want and work for more in life. I believe that extreme results and transformations require extreme steps. Living in the present is one such extreme transformation that is essential to lead a happy life. It is the worry of the future and painful memories of the past that create obstacles. In order to encourage others, I use a number of extreme exercises such as spoon bending, board breaking, weightlessness and fire walking. I don't claim that it is the only way of achieving your goals, but it sure is one way that works."

I draw his attention to the fact that Uri Geller's paranormal activity — spoon bending — was debunked by mathematician and author Martin Gardner. Khare says, "Your belief is your own reality. Our fire-walking seminars, besides our spoon-bending events, have also invited a lot of criticism. Independent of Martin's analysis, Uri still has millions of believers in his psychology of possibility thinking. I learnt spoon bending from Gary Sinclair, who learnt it from Uri Geller directly and explained to me how Uri's message was never understood properly. He never claimed it's a paranormal phenomenon, his intentions too were to make people believe that it's possible, and so is everything else in life."

Motivating others

Khare also coaches the Indian Archery team, including Arjuna award-winner Limba Ram, on psychology. Under his guidance, the team came second in the recent archery world cup.

The feeling in some quarters is that Indian sportspersons lack the killer instinct, but Khare disagrees. "The lack of commercial benefits in sports except in cricket is the main reason why we haven't made our mark in many areas. With a more tangible motivation we are sure to get there."

When I point out that the Indian physique (lean legs as compared to the muscular ones of Caucasians) is not conducive to track events, he says, "There are two forms of beliefs, `empowering' and `disempowering'. For me, only empowering beliefs form my reality. Hence I choose to disagree that our bodies are less conducive to track events or any such statement. It's just that athletics has not been our focus and hence we have not made a mark as opposed to other countries."

Khare has been credited with having cured arthritis and helping people quit smoking. Can he help alcoholics and drug addicts? He says an NLP exercise extensively uses subliminal hypnotherapy.

"I enter the subject's mind and link the addiction with `massive pain' instead of `pleasure' that his/her mind associates the habit with. If the subject expresses a strong desire to change, I can give 100 per cent assurance that using NLP, I can get results. It's a highly scientific exercise."

We have so many billionaires in India, the list keeps growing day by day. What about motivating and improving the quality of the lives of people who lead lives of quiet desperation on the streets and in the country's impoverished rural regions? He retorts: "My experience with people from all walks of life and every strata of society clearly shows how confusions, dilemmas, the fear of being judged, the feeling of inadequacy, compromises on things that may mean the ultimate happiness for us, the fear of failure, undue comparisons, adultery, dissatisfaction in personal relationships, lack of recognition, non-acknowledgement of our efforts, etc, can happen to anyone irrespective of where they belong. The important thing to remember is that it is possible to live a life of complete satisfaction. You can achieve anything you want in all areas of life, both professional and personal, if you have the belief and by acting on that belief." He adds his motivation strategies involve using relatable stories as well as practical demonstrations. "Beyond that there is a process which entails several psychological, spiritual and NLP factors which are responsible for ultimately bringing about a complete transformation."

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