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Shaju John

Negative thoughts multiply and cascade into criticism, accusations, retaliations.

Bharat Savur

You cannot be happy if you are always self-preoccupied and believe that everybody should behave according to your doctrine. Life then becomes one long-suffering litany of ‘wrongs’ done to you — friends ‘disappoint’, family doesn’t ‘care’, colleagues are ‘selfish’ and so on.

This thought-pattern puts you in a negative hole. Your mounting expectations and disappointments lead you down to depression, ulcers, high blood pressure, migraines…

The wise explain lucidly: Thoughts constitute the mind. So, unless thoughts transform, the mind cannot transform. To transform the thought-pattern from depressive to positive, we need a three-pronged change in our thinking:

Quality — When our thoughts are loving, they soothe the mind and make it peaceful and creative. So, dwell endlessly in the great inspirational words of Einstein, Osho, The Mother of Pondicherry, Tagore, Thich Nhat Hanh. Loving thoughts are high-quality thoughts. Discard negative thoughts — they are of very poor quality.

Quantity — Negative thoughts multiply and cascade into criticism, accusations, retaliation. But, when thoughts are positive, inspirational, the quantity of thoughts reduces and the mind quietens. In the early stages, you may feel a little uneasy at the absolute silence in the head that is so used to talk, tension and anguish. Let the uneasiness pass. Feel a hushed gladness rise in your mind — it is the dawn of a new free way of being.

Direction — The mind can apply itself efficiently in one direction. When pulled in different directions, it gets scattered — like a broken mirror reflecting distorted thoughts — and stressed. Lead your mind towards one direction —that of your highest self. Take the path of fine arts — music, mantras, poems — as a hobby. Here, express your emotions in rhythm and melody, beauty and purity, and goodness and joy. The mind becomes integrated, focused, cohesive, and thoughts, emotions and words become harmonious.

With this new understanding humming in you, always look for opportunities, for ways to make your relationships harmonious rather than acrimonious. Replace every complaining, martyred, accusing, ultimatum-delivering thought with this consistent, beautiful one: “What is the kind and loving thing for me to do right now?” This is very pleasant — you sit in this thought that is so blissful, so attuned to accord, so in-sync with good intentions, happiness and wellbeing. This is a deep practice. This mental state knows no hurt, recognises no failure, perceives no slights.

Now, with an open heart and a much lightened mind, look into the eyes of people. Feel them as you would your own self. See them change, grow; see them laugh, cry; see them struggle, triumph; see them live, love, flourish. Let affection for them arise in you. Try to be an answer to their prayers rather than demand they be an answer to yours.

As important is to establish harmony in your own body, mind, spirit. Most of us do not know that our body is a little off-balance. Since we always stand or sit through the day, our blood circulates more to the lower body. The upper body is relatively less nourished.

To re-balance, do two exercises: Ride a stationary bike for 35 minutes as a nice warm-up to get the circulation chugging. Then, do the Inverted Pose. Lie flat on your back. Raise your legs and place them vertically against the wall. Your butt should touch the wall. Hold for three minutes. This helps nourish the brain with oxygen-rich blood.

Get your adrenaline going in both directions. Get the blood to flow to your brain. The soup is always going to be under-salted, the tea always tepid, but love in the heart, equanimity in the mind, joy in the spirit put happiness in the air, in life. Get fit. Feel good about yourself from inside and you’ll feel good about everything outside.

Alongside, throw away your doctrine of how a relationship should be, and learn to relate in a deep way, sweetly, without expectations, without demands. Take care of your health. Monitor your blood pressure daily. Avoid spicy food that inflames ulcers. Avoid chocolates, cheese, MSG, peanuts as they trigger migraines. If a depressive, take your medication regularly. Become more and more aware that every incident of unpleasantness, of aggression and pressure becomes a doorway to disease and a setback to the quest of health, serenity and happiness.

Do this mind-transforming meditation: Sit comfortably, spine straight, relaxed, eyes closed gently. Focus on the in-out flow of your breath for five minutes. Be in the calming, quietening of the mind. Let thoughts come and go, continue focusing on your breath.

Now, imagine you are putting the mind to rest. It sits in a lush green field of grass and flowers like a tired pilgrim. Think of the world, the globe circling the sun. Visualise you and your loved ones flourishing, faces raised to the sun. See the glow of happiness on their faces.

Be aware that life is too precious, too short and that you must make the best use of being alive with the people you love. Let your love flow to them…

The writer is the co-author of the book ‘Fitness for Life’

More Stories on : Health | Fitness First

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