The Hindu Business Line : Living it right in the US

The India HR head of a software MNC tells me how when his company hires staff these days, one of the necessary perks they expect is an overseas assignment. A short or long-term assignment seems to be de rigueur on a resume!

Working abroad is great not just for your career profile but also for broadening your horizons, both culturally and personally.

But the experience can be full of booby traps if you don't step right. One of the topics in a course I run deals with the nitty-gritty of living in the US or other Western countries, especially in apartments. Everything from renting an apartment to taking out the trash is a whole new ball game for a first-timer from India.

Rule of rules

Be prepared for lots of paperwork and documentation. The US is the land of lawyers after all, where people litigate at the drop of a baseball cap. Remember LA Law and The Practice? Everything about renting or leasing an apartment is documented, signed and sealed. Don't even dream of the oral agreements that quite happily flourish in India. And ground rules apply for every area, like security deposit, when you move in or out, what comes with the apartment, maintenance, furnishings, and so on. Don't even try to get around this.

The default mode in the West is that people normally follow even the unwritten rules. Those who don't are viewed with suspicion, even hostility. For example, if you have been assigned a space to park your car in the apartment, then park it just there and not in somebody else's spot even if it is for a short time. You will become very unpopular if you don't take these kinds of conventions seriously. Don't presume that neighbours will be willing to "adjust" or "understand" as they will in India.

Gadgets and DIY

The norm in the US is that most apartments come equipped with basics like a four-burner stove, dishwasher, wardrobes or closets as they are known, lighting fixtures and some or almost all the furniture. Check what you are getting when you rent the apartment and remember to treat everything with care as they need to be returned in the same condition or deductions from your security deposit are common. Don't be shy to ask for thorough demonstrations of their use. Repairmen are highly expensive; the only solution is DIY — do-it-yourself. Supermarkets are full of DIY equipment. Keep a small kit with you for drilling nails, tightening screws or adding a lick of paint to a window frame if you are feeling brave. Follow the instructions carefully and I promise you will find eventual joy in this independence. My best discovery were nails with plastic hooks that had fine needle-like pins easy to drive into walls with a simple hammer, unlike the heavy drill, wooden stubs, hammer and nail routine we use here. I was home free and hung up photographs in a minute.

The worst part for me personally is the lack of household help. Daily help is usually unaffordable and you have to do the cooking, cleaning and all other errands. This is part of the culture shock and isolation Indians face in the West. There is usually a common area for washers and dryers where everybody does their laundry. Carry enough quarters for the machines, besides detergent and baskets for your clothes. If you run out of detergent don't ever borrow a little from a box somebody else has left behind. It is considered stealing!

Be Mr Clean

Standards of cleanliness are far higher in the US. Since you are your country's cultural ambassador, try to maintain reasonable standards of hygiene in public and private. Spitting even when no one is watching, junking empty cartons casually in the corridor, food and spills on the carpets and wet bathrooms are no-nos. And never air your private garbage in public. Neatly stuff your waste into black garbage bags and stow them without spilling in the trash bins provided, segregating the recyclable waste.

Watch that space

Americans place a lot of emphasis on politeness and personal space. So you will find your neighbours will always acknowledge you with a greeting in passing. In India, being neighbours gives you the right to establish instant intimacy and ask about everything from family history to work and political beliefs.

In the US, things like age and income are considered personal issues that you can only talk about after long acquaintance. So don't start chatting up somebody with questions like, "So, are you married?" "Do you have kids?" Talk about the weather instead or last night's soccer game on TV. Try not to visit anybody uninvited or without calling to check if it is convenient, even if they live next door.

It may be difficult to understand that while Americans practise informality in many things, they can be so formal about personal space. Yet in an emergency, an American neighbour will promptly come through, so don't hesitate to ask for help. When my sister cut herself deeply in the kitchen one day, it was Kevin, our downstairs neighbour, who rushed her to the hospital to get stitched up.

So, there it is in a nutshell. Play by the rules, get used to DIY, stay clean and be scrupulous about personal space and you won't cross any of those invisible lines that may offend in apartment living.

(The writer is Founder-Director of Global Adjustments, the Chennai-headquartered cross-cultural training and services company.)

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