The Hindu Business Line : <I>Handling difficult people </I>

Fifty `how to' chapters fill Michael Armstrong's "How to be an Even Better Manager," from Viva (www.vivagroupindia.com) . Among the additions in the latest edition of the book are eleven chapters, on topics ranging from people appraising people to performing self-assessment, from being authoritative to developing emotional intelligence.

Of special interest should be the discussion on handling difficult people. A sobering thought, however, before trying to understand why people can be difficult, is to consider the probability that such people may be convinced that it is you who are being difficult!

"Ask yourself whether the problem is caused by your behaviour rather than theirs," instructs Armstrong. He lists many reasons for there being difficult people. There can, for instance, be `a fundamental disagreement about policy'. Rivalry, insecurity, excessive pressure, arrogant behaviour, frustrated ambition, and lack of trust are among other causes.

The author offers ten approaches as antidotes. One, anticipate problems. "Look for the signs and take swift action." Two, look at yourself a little more closely. Three, analyse the causes, and try to identify "events that may have triggered off the behaviour."

Four, discuss the specific issues that are the irritants; "a joint problem-solving approach is best."

Five, be assertive when dealing with aggressive people; "state your case, and ask questions to encourage the person to explain the cause of the problem and to discuss how it can be resolved." Six, "Always be calm." Seven, try reasoning. "But if he or she is too angry or upset to listen, it may be best to walk away, with words to the effect that time is needed to reflect on this situation." Eight, deploy avoidance, but only as a short-term solution, because such a tactic doesn't address the real problem.

Next comes the evergreen advice of being careful about the words you use. "Try to limit your contribution and let the other person have his or her say," counsels Armstrong. And approach number ten is to agree that a problem exists.

Too practical to ignore.

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D. Murali