The Hindu Business Line : In search of balance

In a recent workshop on leadership development, the participants were asked to put down the three big items they hoped to work on during the next six months; items they felt would make them "happier" and therefore more effective managers. Eighty per cent of the respondents had work-life balance as one of the big three items.

One participant said that he had exchanged a high profile job in a big company for a more low profile job in the hope that this would give him more time to pursue his real interests and spend time with his family. It never happened — in the new job he only got busier. Initially, he rationalised this to himself as being part of the orientation phase and hoped things would improve, but they never really did.

Another shared her story — she gave up a successful career and opted for a home based assignment in the hope of being able to assuage her guilt at not spending time with her children. She found that if she was to meet targets, and her own drive for achievement refused to allow her to do anything less, she needed to work just as hard as she had earlier. And added to the burden was the expectation that since she was at home, she would do far more at home too. She is now back in a full-time corporate job.

"It's not my job, it's me," said yet another participant. "I end up working long hours and long weeks whatever job I do - even a job where my predecessor was known to go home on time every day!"

And finally, we had someone relate a funny story of how she equated being able to catch a movie on Saturday evening with work-life balance, and ended up working all hours all week and being tense all Saturday so that she could achieve what to her seemed work-life balance!

We searched around the group for people who felt that they had achieved work-life balance. Only three hands went up!

Obviously, while most people seem to desire work-life balance, very few are really successful at achieving it.

What then can one do to achieve this elusive balance? Here are some pointers:

"My work is my hobby." This is as good as it can get — there is nothing else that this person would rather do. Artists, writers and many people in creative professions feel this way. So Lesson One: try to get into a job you enjoy doing. It's far easier not to grudge those extra hours spent when you enjoy what you are doing. Be passionate about your work.

"I make time once a week to pursue a study course." Most often, it is the monotony of daily work that promotes the longing for work-life balance. Unfortunately most jobs tend to have a great deal of routine. Even if they don't, even if they are full of new challenges, very often it is difficult to link what you do to fulfilment. (A friend was saying that in the last four months she has had her fill of challenging and new assignments, but at the end of the day she does wonder what all the effort did translate into). In such situations, a way out is to invest in a self-study course or an evening class — even if it is just one hour per week. If you can't see purpose in your work or life, create a purpose for yourself!

"I ensure that I am home at least once a week to cook dinner and put the children to bed." Compromises are what are called for. While you cannot be there all the time, you can be there sometimes.

It's also about planning and being assertive in sticking to the plan. Most often, our work-life balance goes astray due to the working style of a colleague — someone who starts late and works late or someone who gets you to work at the last minute.

It's also about not wanting to be 100 per cent perfect on everything all the time. It's about being smart and working out good fallback options and workarounds both at home and at work to ensure that you do a good job without dying of stress.

Finally, it's about attitude. Most often when we leave before the rest, we try to slink out of the door unnoticed. If you have finished your work there's just no need to feel guilty about leaving on time. Walk out boldly with a cheery `goodbye'. Having said all this, it's really about making choices. When we asked the same set of delegates at the workshop to assign marks out of 10 for career and life, most wanted to put a nine on each. It's just not possible to do that — it's usually one at the cost of the other. At some moments work takes precedence and at others the home or other interests. The idea is not so much of balance, but of fixing priorities at all points of time. From that point of view, I guess... work-life balance is a myth.

(The writer is a Principal Consultant with Totus Consulting, a Chennai-based strategic HR consulting firm)