The Hindu Business Line : When cupid comes calling

Romantic relationships with the boss or a subordinate may decrease morale in the department and raise suspicions among co-workers of preferential treatment.

As a modern corporate executive, you are a committed worker who gives 110 per cent to the company. At the same time you also want to assert your independence by choosing your life companion. In these circumstances, the most likely place where you end up meeting prospective partners is the office itself. And as people work longer hours, the chances of meeting someone outside the office are on the wane.

Office romances are the order of the day, and many of them end in marriages. A cosy romance with a co-worker can really spice up your life in the office. Because you work together, you already have something in common and possibly a shared group of friends.

Having chosen the same company, having been drawn to the same company culture and possibly the same kind of work shows that the couple shares some interests to begin with. In the office, you see a whole side to a person that you don't see if you just go out on a date. It's a true test of character: Do they treat people nicely? How do they deal with stress? Are they responsible? Having said that, there are a few dilemmas that can crop up.

From my own experience and that of numerous friends and co-workers, I have carved out some pointers for dealing with an office romance.

Beware of the boss

Strike your boss and subordinates off the list of potential mates. Romantic relationships with the boss or a subordinate may decrease morale in the department and raise suspicions among co-workers of preferential treatment. Apart from that, this raises the potential for charges of sexual harassment , especially if the relationship ends. If your boss or subordinate is the only one for you, you should consider switching jobs or at least departments.

It is better to have one's rendezvous outside the office and after office hours. Trying to get away from your team members during lunch and coffee breaks to spend time with your beloved is distracting to your team members and will affect your contribution and maybe career. You don't have to keep the affair a top secret, but you should refrain from workplace displays of affection. You don't want to be sending each other romantic e-mails while you're at work. If you are using the office as a meeting place and are caught, there is a real and grave and risk of losing your job.

Setting rules is like signing a pre-nuptial contract. It is not the most romantic thing to do, but it will help keep your life less burdened and realistic. These ground rules could encompass subjects like:

Whether you will talk about your relationship with others in the office.

Whether you will talk shop after office hours.

What could happen if the relationship were to end.

Know the company rules

There are some organisations, albeit dwindling in number, which completely frown upon office romances. If you are in such a place, you will have to think extremely hard before going out with any co-worker. If the relationship gets serious, there are potentially difficult decisions ahead of you.

Even if this isn't the case, there remains the important question of how your company views office romances and handles the case of in-house couples. A broad policy covering this aspect is becoming necessary as more and more people get romantically involved with people they work with. These rules are generally framed to address the issues of favouritism, conflict of interest, and confidentiality.

Some of the issues are the same as hiring of relatives. Many companies have a clause prohibiting relatives in a direct reporting relationship. But since the romancing couple has no official relationship, some companies have a non-fraternisation clause. It may read something like: "If a personal relationship creates conflict of interest or disruption in work, this can be a ground for asking one or both the parties involved to leave the company."

Extra marital affairs

Ideally, this should be a strict no. It is transient and the drawbacks far outweigh the gains. Those who succumb to the temptation will have to find their own rules and their own lawyer.

At worst, an unsuccessful romance in the workplace can damage your professional reputation and career. It could also leave you handling a sexual harassment charge. The prospect of having to keep working with your old sweetheart also looms large. An office romance is like a beautiful porcelain vase — handle it with care and it can be a source of lasting joy. Otherwise you will be left picking up the pieces. By all means fall head over heels. Just make sure that you use the head first.

(The writer, an alumnus of XLRI, is a freelance HR consultant and trainer)

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