The Hindu Business Line : How about some introspection?

THE BANE OF A SUCCESSFUL young manager's life is never setting aside a little time for introspection. Innumerable are the youthful decision makers who zoom along in life never looking back on their actions and achievements.

Before I start another erudite rendition of critical managerial strategies, I want to wish all of you a nice, cosy, ho-ho-holiday season. I don't know about the city you're in, but Mumbai is beginning to look all nice and fun with twinkling lights and decked up store windows and a spring in people's steps. Yes, yes, the traffic still sucks. And it is staggering irony when people listen to songs of snow and sleighs and reindeer with sweat pouring down their backs and their faces slowly broiling under the furnace-y Mumbai sun. But there is goodwill in the air and good cheer. After all one must look forward to the year ahead, leaving the year gone by behind.

Or must one? Hmm...

Forget the past you say? Time for optimism and gung-ho spirit, is it?

Tsk tsk. The bane of a successful young manager's life is never setting aside a little time for introspection. Innumerable are the youthful decision makers who zoom along in life never looking back on their actions and achievements. They think that only success and bonuses lie ahead. Then suddenly, one day, just a week after they've booked that car and flat in Dadar, they are told that they cannot be promoted for now as, in the past, they have not shown, shudder, "leadership", shiver, "teamwork" or, and this actually happened to a friend I swear, "intellectual honesty".

Now I don't need to tell you that a bad annual performance review can sound the death knell for your fledgling career. Not to mention the embarrassment of calling up the car dealer and the property developer.

Of course, companies carry out elaborate performance reviews primarily as a means of keeping manpower costs low and directing the bulk of the bonuses to the top performers — CEO, CFO, HR Head, Admin Manager and the office boy who walked into the CEO's office during lunch break when the boss was browsing that interesting and rather candid Web site on the big screen monitor connected to the projector.

However, this does not mean that the ambitious young manager should not do a little introspection on his own. He must. And he must do this often. And what better time to do this than at the very end of the year? So here goes. Let me walk you through it. We will do this in the manner of those interesting questionnaires that one sees in women's magazines where one answers inane questions and then totals up the points to get a concise, crisp note on why your disastrous love life is not your fault, how your husband is probably cheating on you and why you should get to know the milkman better.

One point for a yes. Nothing for a no. No negative marking.

Do you still have the same job you had at the beginning of the year?

Do you still have the same boss you had last year?

Did you get promoted? (Say yes only if you made more money. Designation and grade changes do not count you loser.)

Do you have anything at home that technically belongs to the company? (Laptops don't count. I mean things you don't intend returning. Like stealing booze from company parties.)

Do you have fresh printouts of your CV with you always?

Did you print the above CV's on company paper with the company printer?

Have you hit the maximum limit on all your reimbursement accounts?

Have you sent all your personal couriers and procured all your home stationery needs from the office? (Bonus: One point if you have extended this facility to family and friends.)

Has anyone of your grade/level in the company been recently demoted/fired? (Bonus: One point if you were, unknowingly, instrumental in arranging for said mishap.)

Has anyone in HR/Finance/Accounts/Admin departments recently praised you for your cooperation and understanding not knowing that you loathe them like the plague and did something evil to them like crash the Tally server?

Are you doing this questionnaire in the office? (Bonus: One point if this is during a meeting. Two points if you are leading this meeting.)

Do you know all the single female secretaries by first name, mobile number and favourite restaurants?

Have you seen every cricket match India has played this year by conveniently enrolling yourself for seminars or by going on "customer visits"? (Bonus: If you also got the trip reimbursed and got "compensation off" for doing official work on weekends.)

Have you ever thought about hiring a brilliant freelance writer, who can write in a fluid witty style, for your firm? (Bonus: Seventeen million points if you contact author immediately.)

Have you thought about the meaning of life and what role all of us actually play in this universe of fleeting pleasures and brief sorrows? More pertinently, have you done this during HR training programmes or `meet the employee' type events?

Now tot up all your points including bonuses. This is your analysis:

12-17 million odd: You are the next Narayanamurthy. The world is in your palm. Soon you will be on the first page of several newspapers. I salute you and humbly ask you to procure for me a laser printer with double-side printing facility at the earliest. Buy shelf for `industry' trophies at home now.

8-11: You are on the verge of becoming the perfect new manager. With a little more effort you will transcend the boundary between "long time, low-potential employee" and "fast track CEO material". Keep reading this column and keep implementing whatever I tell you all of next year. Let 2007 be your breakout year. Fight the tendency to work.

8 and below: I don't hang around with types like you. Alas... There is still hope. Actually there isn't.

See you all in 2007! Have a Merry Christmas and a most professionally satisfying New Year.

(The writer, an alumnus of IIM-A, was a management consultant before quitting to work on a book and a full-time writing career)