The Hindu Business Line : Fresh thoughts for the new manager

I write this week's column perched on a narrow crenellated stone terrace somewhere outside the city of Alwar in Rajasthan. The terrace is part of a once ruined stone fort that has now been restored into a rather cosy little hotel. The views over merry yellow mustard fields are breathtaking. And in the distance loom the brown rugged undulations of the Aravallis. Around this fort, perched on a craggy hill of black stone, there is hardly any habitation to the very limits of the horizon in all directions.

Yet such is my dedication that even during a hard-earned holiday, I set aside some quality time for all you young managers out there looking to make this year even more respectable and successful than the one past. So, as the wild green parrots swoop up and over the narrow fort walls and the sun nudges out the mist from the lush green farmland, I ask you to listen to me without distraction as I take you through a welcome set of thoughts at this critical juncture in the calendar year.

Welcome to `Ten essential resolutions for the young manager in 2007'.

Yes, yes I know. The first week has already passed us by and most of you have already embarked on several personal resolutions for the months ahead. However, dear manager buddies, how many of you have actually made critical resolutions to help you in the workplace? I don't mean the lazy "I will get promoted" or "I will take less credit for other people's work" resolutions. If those are your professional resolutions, I pity you. Those resolutions are like ERP implementations and summer internships — pointless, pitiful and astoundingly painful if you are committed to them.

Don't bother.

What you must be doing, on the other hand, is drawing up a list of "actionable" resolutions that you can work on gradually and comprehensively during the year. With dedication and commitment, you will easily be able to work on each one of them and tick them off one by one in your mental checklist. Suddenly, one year from now, you will notice that you are happier, have more money and have suddenly become a central part of your organisation; someone with wide responsibility, little accountability, great bonus potential and unlimited expense accounts and all this without joining the HR, admin or finance departments! (It is possible. Trust me.)

But to help you along with your resolutions, this column will suggest ten sure-fire examples. These are resolutions that have been tried and tested by generations of young managers. Some of you may adopt them as is. Others can use these as guidelines for developing your very own list of resolutions. Whatever you do, make sure that by the end of the day you have a clear list of initiatives for the year ahead. Print them out in large fonts and tape them up inside your drawer. You don't want the other pesky young managers seeing your list and, shudder, competing with you. So here goes — the first five this week and the remaining five in the column to come:

If things must be bought do so from a drugstore or hospital

Most of you fresh young managers have remuneration packages that include hefty sums of money as medical reimbursements. Most of us ignore these amounts only to find later in our careers that they have added up to several lakhs of rupees.

Finally, one fresh Tuesday in 2011, you decide you will take the tax cut and encash your reimbursements. Alas, the slimy guy in HR tells you that all pending reimbursements were written off on Monday, as is company policy, and you currently have started from zero again. Avoid this disappointment. Make sure you buy everything you can from a medical store or hospital and get them reimbursed by the company immediately.

Spread any and all rumours about other people

Many young managers believe that organisations are happy communes full off common will and collective effort. This is not an entirely correct understanding. Organisations are, in fact, festering cesspools of connivance, conspiracy and backstabbing. It is a dog-eat-dog world and the least the young manager can do is to fuel the flames of intrigue and mistrust.

If you hear anything incriminating about anybody, pass it on to the next fellow. Your silence will achieve nothing as organisations have a way of spreading everything rapidly and evenly except bonuses. So be a sport and hasten your colleague's downfall.

Do not stand in the way of staggering nincompoopery

As a Greek philosopher once said, "To err is human, but to laugh at the fellow is goddamn awesome." Now some of you young managers may be the Good Samaritan type who believe in helping out the fellow man. Per se, this is a noble thing and there is nothing wrong with that, especially if you enjoy your life in middle management and want to see your family go hungry and your children drop out of school because you will soon collapse under the heavy economic burden and your meagre salary will not be enough to even pay the awful domestic help who leaves your collars dirty and soon you will be forced to move into one of the decrepit abandoned buildings in the far-flung suburbs and sell excess body organs to make ends meet.

But the rest of us will not lift a finger when we see our co-worker on the verge of a gargantuan error.

He has a right to commit the error and by jove, we will respect that right. Let your err-ful colleagues live up to their potential. When they seem to be moments away from committing a career-threatening faux pas, we will quietly move into the shadows to watch with glee and perhaps even call up a few senior colleagues for company.

Make the blind carbon copy your friend

This column has often upheld the virtues of shrewd e-mailing as a tool for professional advancement. Many young managers tell me every day how they have traversed the perilous path of corporate advancement without doing more that making a few deft clicks in their Outlook Express. If you haven't done so this far, 2007 is a good time to start. Use your e-mail system well. Within it lies the potential to wreak havoc with your equals and juniors and mightily appease the people higher up. In fact, why don't you organise a secret e-mail opinion poll on your boss for all your colleagues? Do I have to tell you any more? (Hint: Protest e-mail to everyone at their unilateral hate for the boss. Unfortunate BCC. Upgrade car.)

When the going gets tough get selected as the second lead

It is inevitable that companies go through bad patches. Economic downturn, extreme competition and comprehensive management can all lead companies to dire downfall. At these junctures, companies often react by setting up task forces and special teams to handle these problems. This year, let us make it a point to ensure that you — the young manager — is always second in command of these teams. This way, you are important enough to take credit if things go well, but completely free of blame if the teamwork ends in utter failure.

Next week, return for five more vital resolutions to help you achieve much more in 2007!

(The writer, an alumnus of IIM-A, was a management consultant before quitting to work on a book and a full-time writing career)