The Hindu Business Line : Onward with those resolutions

So hot on the back of my last column , here are five more ingenious little managerial sleight-of-hand type thingies that hold the potential to completely obliterate the mediocre managerial stint you have had so far. This time, be a sport and give some of them a shot. You may be surprised how some of the most incongruous advice you read here often holds the potential to change your life.

Almost volunteer for everything

The operative word here is "almost". Make sure you always volunteer for something stupid, like buying paper cups or something that is its own reward, say, procuring booze.

Why bother with all this? Now, it is no big secret that when a senior person in a company, by which I mean the VP in HR, is looking for volunteers for an internal activity like a trip to a water park, a cocktail dinner or backdating of stock options, there is much more to it than meets the untrained new manager's eye. Some of you jump at it immediately hoping it will project you in the right light and garner brownie points. Others are sceptical of such tomfoolery and have programmed Outlook Express to ignore all e-mails from the said department.

Both types are doomed. The former have fallen into the utility trap and are immediately identified as the ones with too little work to do and ideally need to be rotated onto a sales stint, may be in Jammu or Kohima. The second types, the aloof fellows, are seen with even greater alarm. They are the no-nonsense practical types who, if left unwatched in the organisation too long, grow up promoting inconvenient concepts like corporate governance and honest balance sheets and internal audits and things. They are normally dispatched to Jammu and Kohima when the previous bunch has gone missing.

Back home, VP in HR throws a party to celebrate reduced manpower cost and calls for volunteers.

If you want to walk the walk, then talk the talk

Most of you want to, at some point in your careers, become the CEO or MD of your companies. The general opinion is that such achievement comes as a reward for hard work, commitment and phenomenal focus and drive.

General opinion, is cheap and dumb. Instead of getting carried away by dedication and focus, I ask you to prepare for your dream roles right away. Talk the talk, dude. Begin to articulate your thoughts like the CEO or MD. If he likes to use a particular word or phrase you should too. Adopt his style. Get noticed. When you see someone senior walking by don't bury yourself in your Excel sheet or PowerPoint presentation. Instead, open a Word document with the heading "Ongoing strategic direction and vision-mission alignment exercise." And look thoughtful yet determined. This way, they know you are an able successor. Of course, if you have one of those rustic, back-slapping, paan-spitting type CEOs, I suggest you start with a mild brand in small pouches and wear dark shirts.

Never look like you make remotely enough money

Nothing can get in the way of a successful young manager like the insecurity and envy of his peers. Think about it. What if you had a subordinate strutting around the office in a designer suit or a Tag Heuer or the keys to a (gasp!) Octavia? Is that not enough for you to call him to the balcony for a quick smoke during lunch break and then point out to him how nice the office garden below looks and then make him look over and then go behind him and ... you get the picture right?

Make sure you do no such thing. Even if you've just hit a bonus jackpot make like you are struggling to make ends meet at home. Let there be a few frayed ends on shirt collars. And make sure the penury is projected for maximum effect. When the boss walks by, pick up the phone and say loudly: "What's for dinner honey? What? Nothing? Hmm ... I could sell a kidney or something ... Oh ... Oops... I took that out for last Diwali ... Anyways back to work, mustn't let that suffer with our little troubles." Always works.

Don't buy into the gung-ho

Young people are vulnerable. Since time immemorial, companies have been trying to secretly manipulate the frail emotions of the young manager. Even the most cynical young manager suddenly melts under the pressure of a concerted HR/morale campaign and soon feebly converts into a well-motivated employee with revised sales targets and no hope of bonuses. And all that for a T-shirt, calendar, cap and cocktail.

Companies, those manipulative blackguards, have learnt that through sufficient outward motivation they can get young managers to listen to their every bid and command.

Don't fall into the gung-ho trap. Always remember that the company is in the business of making money. It needs the moolah whether you have self-esteem left or not. So stay strong. Do not get swayed by the HR-PR spin. Of course, you must jump and whoop when you are expected. (Talk the talk, remember?) But inside you must know, without doubt, that all that matters are your goals and how to get other people to achieve them for you. Get a grip.

And finally ...

It is ok to give up

The average young manager is bred on the benefits of perseverance, focus and the unwavering grind. "Never give up," we are told in school, "always keep cracking at the problem till it is solved. There is no questioning of quitting."

That philosophy lies at the root cause for much managerial mediocrity. Don't let that happen to you. While persistence and stability is an admirable quality, especially in furniture and marine vessels, for managers it sucks. Strive for change. If an important project is stagnating and seems to be going nowhere, then stall it and move on. (You can do this by asking someone to implement Six Sigma or ISO or even ERP modules on it.) And then move on to greater newer challenges. This way you keep popping up all over the place and seem to be getting things done. Also you keep adding stuff to your CV. Be impatient and strive for change. After all, the manager that does not change and adapt is a manager who is unchanging and un-adapting.

Till next time. Happy resolutioning!

(The writer, an alumnus of IIM-A, was a management consultant before quitting to work on a book and a full-time writing career)