The Hindu Business Line : Building cultural bridges

Lakshmi, (smiling and cheerful, dressed in a lovely sari): "Good evening Andreas. I came by as I couldn't reach you on the phone. I just wanted to see if you were settling in okay, as I know you had teething trouble in your home."

Andreas: "Do we have an appointment?"

Lakshmi: "No, (laughing and waving her hand) do we need an appointment for this, it is just a friendly gesture outside my work hours because I care about you and I have come all this way out of town to your house by autorickshaw." (Walks into the house and comments) "What a lovely house, nice and bright, you have arranged it all so tastefully."

Andreas, (still stern, but shocked and angered as well at the unexpected entry): "Could you please leave now, it is Saturday afternoon and my wife and I want to spend some quiet time."

Lakshmi, (tears welling up): "Okay Andreas, I can see I am not welcome. Sorry."

Lakshmi then resigned her job as she felt she couldn't work with Germans. Andreas then stopped working with the company which had been so helpful earlier and a cultural distance built up.

How could this have been avoided? There are a few ways in which both parties could have softened this: If you can think of more ways as you read on, please do send me your thoughts.

Managing expectations: Telling the Germans in more detail about the frustrations to expect about the house. This could have been reinforced even more.

When there is any project or collaborative effort required, it is good to lay out all expectations on both sides and not have any unsaid words. Then, it is best to establish timelines which are realistic, given the slower process flow, potentially adding on 100 per cent extra time if required. An honest answer is always better than a polite one as far as Westerners are concerned. And for us too, in India, it is better to lay our cards on the table, making every effort to then stick to commitments .

Knowing what Germans would like: Privacy and permission. When Lakshmi couldn't reach them on the phone, she could have sent a handwritten note showing her care and offering to visit. What is acceptable in our culture may not be tolerated or may even go down negatively in another. For example, privacy and its invasion are two concepts, which differ vastly in India and Germany.

Reading body language: Once on the scene, when a question like "Do we have an appointment" is uttered and there is no friendly invitation to enter the home, Lakshmi could have apologised and left from the gate itself.

What is unsaid is as important as what is said. Sensitising ourselves cross-culturally will mean living in awareness and we will be far more mindful of the reactions at all levels. This allows fewer errors to be committed, unlike Lakshmi who dug herself into a deeper hole.

Adapting to local practices: Once Andreas saw Lakshmi was already there, he could have remembered this is the Indian way to overextend and drop by in person. He could have either welcomed her or if he really couldn't deal with her company just then, which is entirely understandable, he could have said `thank you' for coming, but he was not going to be able to welcome her indoors just then . He could have offered a more detailed explanation instead of a cold monosyllabic answer, and then let her go. The adaptation has to be both ways and we have to walk towards the world to meet it half way.

(The writer is Founder-CEO of Global Adjustments, the India focused cross-cultural and destination services company)