The Hindu Business Line : How to succeed by changing your behaviour

I recently had the privilege of being in a coaching session by Marshall Goldsmith who has been rated as ‘perhaps the greatest teacher of leadership on the planet’

He says that people who are already successful are there because they are intelligent and skilful; all that stops them from reaching the next level is usually some irritating interpersonal behaviour and once this is addressed and changed, their succes s is bound to multiply. Marshall has helped many global leaders to overcome annoying habits

His book What got you here, Won’t get you there sums up his philosophy. Do visit his Web site and read his book to truly benefit. I am sure he won’t mind me sharing a few behaviours to change from a list he gives. In his inimitable humorous style, Marshall calls the list “A chamber of horrors of bad behaviour.”

Adding too much value: Why put in your two cents in everything?

The other day, one of my team members with experience in the realty field came up with an idea of how to market a property we had on our database. I knew it was a good idea — putting an advertisement in a national daily — that he was suggesting. Instead of simply saying “Thank you, it’s a great idea. Please go ahead and ask me if you need help,” I found myself telling him which paper to advertise in and how to word the advertisement. Maybe I added 10 per cent value, but I took away 50 per cent of his motivation because the idea was no longer his, it became mine. I am working hard on consciously reducing this tendency.

Winning too much: The need to win at all times and at all costs.

One of my most promising former team members had a short-lived tenure with us. I had hired her at the senior manager level and had a clear career path for her to become Vice-President. But an overwhelming need to always come out on top made her a poor leader, although her skills and knowledge on intercultural learning was way above anyone else’s in the company. Finally, we had to let her go, purely on account of a behavioural trait.

Passing judgement: The need to rate others and make comparisons.

Closely linked to adding value is the immediate comparison radar that goes up when we see something others have done. A simple acceptance of another’s work style is needed, for example, in written documentation — so long as there are no glaring errors. Everyone cannot have a uniform style or match our own. As the editor of a cultural magazine for expatriates, I have had to learn to let all styles co-exist and resist the urge to take out a red pen for correction. As a result, the magazine has become richer with different voices speaking.

Starting with no, but or however: Excessive use of these negative qualifiers is a way of telling the world we are right and they are wrong.

When someone gives us an idea or a plan, if our reaction starts with “no, but…” it dampens their spirit. Each time we catch ourselves using these words, let’s levy a Rs 10 “fine” on ourselves and contribute the money to a kitty so that some good cause gets rich at the cost of our behaviour change! Global Adjustments offices in five cities in the country now have a jar for collection on the front desk and our New Delhi team recently sent an e-mail claiming they were “doing good by doing well”.

Speaking when angry: Using emotional outbursts to manage others.

A foreign client we once had, learnt the hard way when he spoke in raised decibels and showered angry words on a valuable Indian colleague. It ended in the colleague’s resignation and no amount of cajoling could get the Indian to change his mind. Anger is temporary madness, as our Hindu scriptures say, and it is best to raise one’s tolerance level instead of one’s voice. A thoughtful “one minute” reprimand as Kenneth Blanchard recommends is a good way, spoken after the wave of anger has passed.

Withholding information so that we have an advantage over others.

As an entrepreneur, my biggest challenge is how to get cross-selling to happen between various departments that are flourishing individually. Keeping the bigger picture of the company above ourselves would banish withholding of information.

Failing to say thank you: The worst form of bad manners.

Sometimes, the easiest things to do are also the easiest things not to do. When someone on our team does something worthy why not simply thank them?

Write it out in the old fashioned way on a card (Who can display an e-mail or SMS on their refrigerator door?). Saying, “Thank you for the terrific report; I am glad to have you on my team,” goes a long way and gives pleasure to the receiver and giver!

As I read Marshall’s list, I found myself thinking “Oh yes, I do this and this and sometimes even this….” I have therefore narrowed the list down and picked one area to work on this quarter — and hope you will too! It works at the office and at home as I have been discovering recently.

(The writer is CEO of Global Adjustments, a relocation and cross-cultural services company, and is also the author of Doing Business in India for Dummies. She can be contacted at globalindian@globaladjustments.com)

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