The Hindu Business Line : Invest money and time, not merely consume

IT IS EITHER this or that. Life is a compromise. There are priorities. You cannot have the cake and eat it too. All these statements are too clichéd; but these are what we hear when most people who are successful at work say, shrugging at maladjustments in their family life.

"Many believe that you can either have a balanced life at home or you can be highly productive at work, but you can't do both," write A. Roger Merrill and Rebecca R. Merrill in their book Life Matters, published by McGraw-Hill (www.books.mcgraw-hill.com). That's a wrong belief, say the authors. The answer does not prescribe some mechanical `balance the scale' approach to work and family; nor does it ask one to run between the bases fast enough to touch them all in one day. What, then? "The answer lies in creating a dynamic equilibrium in which work, family, time, and money are all vital, richly rewarding, and highly interrelated parts."

What are the `Got to do's'? First, work smarter and make your work a positive avenue of excellence and contribution; that would build, and not destroy, family unity and strength. Second, prioritise, as you do at work, your family relationships, considering what matters most ultimately. Third, resolve the dilemma between the need to focus on a task and the need to respond to what's going on around you. Fourth, let not technology turn into a frustration but a balancing tool. Fifth, apply your accounting skills and create financial security for yourself and your family. And, sixth, develop the `navigational intelligence' that empowers you to make better decisions every day.

The book has seven chapters and a foreword from Stephen R. Covey of `7 habits' fame who writes: "To learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know... This material is anything but trite, success-formula blather. You will discover fresh new angles in every subject."

Chapter 1 paints the tragedy we see everywhere: "Immensely successful executives who have climbed the ladder of success, only to leave behind them broken marriages and children who won't even give them the time of day" on one side, and "others who see themselves as family focussed, but are trapped in mediocrity at work."

There are "working husbands and wives who are very much like two ships passing in the night, experiencing pain in their relationship as they struggle to figure out who does the dishes, carries out the garbage, and changes the diapers in this new two-working-parent society."

Life is unpredictable, and to manage it you need `navigational intelligence' — the ability to make good judgments when confronted with decision moments. "It's the ability to plot a good course, ride the waves, weather the storms, respond to the currents, and effectively course-correct," when you face "real, gut-level, rubber-meets-the-road challenges". What can help is discernment — something that can empower you to `scan for, recognise, and respond to what is most important' even when focussed on something else.

In a chapter titled `work matters', the authors lay out a `simple but effective way to seek feedback': "Select a sample of people — bosses, peers, customers, reports — and send them an anonymous questionnaire. Attach a memo along these lines — `I'm trying to find ways I can improve. Would you please take a few minutes and give me some honest feedback?' Ask someone else to type up the results so that complete anonymity will be preserved." Worth trying out?

In the "money matters" chapter, the authors concede that most of us "will never have enough money to do all the things we might like to do or could think of to do." So, choose, they say.

"The key is to spend and invest in things that will bring the greatest returns. With both money and time, it's when we learn to invest instead or merely consume that we generate true wealth."

Lastly, there are the `wisdom matters' — such as, that life matters more than the events. "Events are like punctuation in writing — and great events may even be the exclamation points — the meaning is not in the punctuation."

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