The Hindu Business Line : Curiosity is key

The first operating principle of master communicators is that there's always a bridge. "They believe we can find common ground with all people, no matter how different they are from us," write Claire Raines and Lara Ewing in The Art of Connecting, from Amacom (www.amacombooks.org).

"In human interactions, people regularly put forward a piece of information about themselves in hopes of finding a bridge." This is an `offer', say the authors. "Sometimes offers are accepted; sometimes they're blocked." If you were persistent, you'd counter a block with another offer!

"Curiosity is key," reads the second principle. "Curiosity opens a mental door. As long as that door is open, there's no container for judgment and self-righteousness. It's impossible to be both curious and judgmental at the same time." Also, it is healthy to be curious. "When we're curious, we are stimulating our brains, keeping our minds sharper as we age."

The third principle, which can cut both ways, is: "What you assume is what you get." Expect the best, and you may get it, and vice versa! "If you use stereotypes to predict someone's behaviour, that someone will probably fit the stereotype to a tee. On the other hand, if you assume the person you're just meeting has valuable things to teach, that assumption will likely come true."

The next principle is to realise that each individual is a culture. "Some of the elements that contribute to an individual's culture are country of origin, race and ethnicity, religion, parenting, generation, abilities and disabilities, personal style, sexual orientation, political affiliation, thinking style, values and beliefs, and style and tastes."

And lastly, `No strings attached.' The masters don't expect reciprocity, explain the authors. "When people aren't receptive, these masters don't take it personally. They assume there's a good reason. Then they become curious all over again. They do their best to learn what caused the reaction they've gotten so they can be more successful in the future."

Thus, to `overcome differences, build rapport, and communicate effectively with anyone' you need to go beyond a set of skills, say Raines and Ewing. To help, the authors lay down five `pathways to connection,' which are behaviours that can work. These are: Clarify your intention, notice your own reactions, search for similarities, use cues, and experiment and adjust.

Discerning analysis.

Send in your queries on soft skills to: SoftSkillSpeak@gmail.com

Blog at: http://BookPeek.blogspot.com