The Hindu Business Line : Prevent inappropriate expression of anger

Anger is a symptom of emotional pain. We have to take care of both the symptom and its cause. For that we need to understand some things. One does not choose to have anger; it just happens without taking our permission. And there is no one who does not experience anger, because emotional pain is there for every human being. So we can free ourselves from the notion that we can control anger, and also, from any judgment about having anger.

While we cannot control anger, we do have a responsibility to control its expression. No one deserves to be the victim of someone's anger. Techniques like breathing deeply can be helpful to control the expression of anger, but you can help yourself a lot by acknowledging your anger to the people around you and making a resolve to yourself and to them that you are not going to victimise anyone with your anger.

If anger arises, you say, "I am angry now, I will talk to you later." And you empower the people around you to say to you, "You are angry now, let us talk later." In this way you can prevent the inappropriate expression of anger, and avoid further complications.

Anger is still there, however, and has to be processed or it will cause problems, even health problems. By controlling its expression, you have given yourself the space to process it. Write out all that you are angry about, in the language in which you are most comfortable, then destroy that paper. In the process of writing you will discover certain things that will give you more insight into and more compassion towards yourself. That will help heal the underlying pain, and as a result, anger will diminish.

SoftSkillSpeak@gmail.com

http://MentorQA.blogspot.com

Swami Dayananda Saraswati

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