The key to getting your way is to let the other person feel great after he has decided to see it or do it your way. For this to happen, being compelling isn’t enough; you need to be ‘positively compelling,’ insists Gitomer.

“You must be the essence of self-belief and YES! Attitude in order to transfer your message.” Which explains why “the outgoing, friendly, aggressive, assertive ones tend to have more ‘luck’ than the meek.” However, more important than these external attributes are ‘character, credibility, stature, history of success, and reputation.’

Be persuasive in your presentation skills, speaking and writing, advises the author. Learn how to tell stories, both meaningful and contextual. “Stories convey a message in metaphor format, or by telling of a similar situation… They often make the listener to think of his own story.”

Take care not to let speaking degenerate into hot air, or BTNA — big talk, no action. Stay away, therefore, from insincere words such as ‘honestly, truthfully, quite frankly, and I mean that’. Hot air wastes everyone’s time, and makes you look like a fool, cautions the author.

The best way to market yourself is to give yourself to the market, he urges. Free speeches (not sales pitches) at civic groups can be good practice opportunities with potential rewards too.

Principles of persuasive writing are clarity, creativity, and “the ability to inject humour to make the reader smile and want to continue.”

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