The Hindu Business Line : Culture couture: What’s wrong in partying?

Story so far: Hunger. Pangs of conscience. Can I do nothing? For how long, will we shudder from our social responsibilities? We can make a little difference. Collaborate and start our own missions. Feed people whom we know are unfed. Yes, we can.

Episode 172

Another year will pass away into oblivion tonight. Three hundred sixty five days of experiences. New moments will precede older ones. Some will give in. Others will fade. People reflect on what they have done while others chalk out New Year’s resolutions. But why is Mr Sharma arguing with her daughter?

“This is the last time, I am saying this. No party on New Year’s Eve,” screamed the 48-year-old housewife. Pointing out that partying was never our culture and an unnecessary evil that was trying to carve out its own niche in our Indian system, the mother thought finally she had won the battle of words. Unlike men, women fight it out on the basis of their arsenal of words. Mostly.
Gaping gap

Rathi, a 21-year-old new-fangled Indian voter, had apparently saved the best for the last. “I don’t know what culture you are talking about? Culture comes from cultivating new ideas. New ideas spawn in a free environment. Where is the environment for that in this house?” the girl asked a pertinent question. Celebration of new things is an essential part of life and we should allow us to express it in any form we like, she finished her counsel.

“Ma, for me partying is a form of expression…it allows me to celebrate the New Year in the way I want to. Given a choice, you would make me sit at home and watch New Year programmes on Sony or Star TV,” she complained. Yes, the quality of programmes seems kinda stale now, with the same stars and same things.

Every year, Marina Beach plays host to hundreds of people on New Year’s Eve. Besides the litter and bacchanalia on the sands the day next, people do celebrate the coming of a new year in their own way. What’s wrong with that?

The year 2007 might go but will not usher in new ideas. If old ideas cannot stand the test of time and argument, will youngsters respect them? Should they not think that old may be gold but an idea oversold…

“No Swati, you are getting it wrong. While you have our own festivals, this New Year celebrations and partying is not a part of our society. Drinking, staying away from home and doing ‘god knows what’…how can you even support this,” my aunt, Lata Devi said. Coming from someone who is a principal of a convent school, I was for a moment flabbergasted. (Am I on the wrong side this time?)

Individuals like Lata Devi have a point. It is not a part of our culture. Wait a minute. Who forms culture? People, right. Culture is civilisation. Civilisation is formed of people. People are individuals like Rathi.

“Yes. Nowhere, not even in the sacred Bhagvad Gita is it written that we should not enjoy ourselves. I am not going to go around town boozing. I have tastes. My dear friend is hosting a party at her place in Sri Perumbudur. Her parents actually let her use that place. I don’t know what’s wrong with them but something is so very wrong with my parents.” Youngsters like Rathi have this power to use the right words, don’t they? It is so believable and, in fact, so true.
Open doors

“Having a bash at their own place is a good idea but not for me Swati,” Mrs Sharma shot back when I officially took sides. Before she could give vent her angst at me, one of the clever ones as I am thought to be, as “Et tu Brute”, I left the boiler room. Billions of dollars worth of investment and thousands of IT workers toiling in night shifts had not changed a thing.

The fact remains, when it comes to accepting truth, we have the age-old alibi — society and culture. Any responsible society would allow free exchange of ideas. Such an exchange of ideas in turn gives birth to new concepts. It makes us see what we really are.

I don’t know Rathi’s friend neither her parents but they seemed sensible people. Hosting a party at their own place is a much better idea than allowing them to go for a girl’s night out. With the civilised world choosing to engross themselves in the customary hugs and celebrations in front of the idiot box at 12, the streets do become a playground for the lesser known.

Is it not better to let a young bunch to use space under the watchful eyes of servants and let them dance to Macarena? Or is it better to let them ride on the back seats of bikes and consciously let them live out of control when they get a chance to do so?

It’s a new day. A new life and young people will decide where they want to take us. Unfortunately that’s a fact. As parents and people of the revered generations will recount, they too have had their moments of pure insanity while away from the prying eyes of the family and known faces. Years of pent up desperation, a fresh spirit bound by unexplainable fetters of customs and, finally, a whiff of freedom resulted in the most foul of all concoctions.

“Frolic under one’s own roof cannot be bad. Young people will in this way not indulge in anything immoral. The more you restrain them with arguments that could not hold even twenty years ago, the more determined they become. After all, it’s just a party. Harmless gathering of human beings,” Suresh Kandaswamy, my landlord smiled as he finished his lines. If only other people realised his point of view!

Cakes can be replaced with egg-less ones. The year-long-used incense sticks can for one evening be replaced with room fresheners. Balloons can be inflated, without the false pride of being traditional. Carnatic music can give some hours away to Enrique Iglesias. Rasam can forgive Chinese cuisine as Pepsi-Cola struts along in the hands of the young on the mezzanine floor.

Why not make it a little better for the new ones? Accept that they too have their own ways of celebration. Let them be at home this New Year Eve with you. Accept that his friends too want to embrace each other and smile when the clock ticks the last second of year 2007. The minute hand of a clock face turns twelve times as fast as the hour hand. Our new generation, too, are no different.

Share your views on how you have seen New Year’s Eve being spent. Are parties at home harmful for youngsters? Why should celebrations or expressions of emotions adhere to age-old norms, when everything is slowly morphing?

Technically, you have one whole year and six days to let me know. Yes, before I forget completely.

Often, we don’t thank the people whom we should at the very outset. I don’t want to repeat old mistakes. Thank you for putting up with me in 2007.

It’s been a pleasure reading your replies. What better gift to a columnist than a devoted pack of readers. Best wishes for 2008.

*****

Responses to Episode-171 on the issue: ‘Serving food justice to all’ (Business Line, December 24, 2007).

This is a common sight for us. The problem is that the creamy layer of society has forgotten the basic concept of ‘Live and let live’. They waste so much of their resources merely to satisfy their egos and to keep up with the Jones’.

I read an article which stated that the so-called civilised man is destroying natural resources at a much faster rate than the adivasis. In the present case, what we need is to have NGOs that can take care of the hungry thousands. In some of the Hindu temples, prasadam is distributed free of cost to all. This practice needs little more attention.

R. T. Shah

“Think long term…in short-term it looks selfish,” rightly said Swati. Charity normally should start at home and in course of time, it will and should become a habit. Somewhere a few nuclei (ideas) could snowball to a macro level. As the gap between the haves and have-nots have widened, so is the requirement/need for more number of charity houses.
Most of us, especially workers who are bachelors, use the services of professionals at the micro-level, housemaids, cooks, dhobis, gardeners, security, etc., the list bulging up with our economic status. If we could take care of some of their meals and needs (other than the monetary emoluments that we offer anyway, it shall be a nice starting point.
Krishnamoorthy, Mangalore
It is unfortunate that the divide between the haves and have-nots is increasing at an alarming rate. This is true of developed countries too. The saving grace there being reasonable social security systems to take care of the unemployed, poor and the aged. In India, despite six decades of so-called socialism, we are yet to achieve even 25 per cent of the goals aimed at.
The corruption levels being very high, only a small part of the taxpayers’ money and budget allocations are effectively spent. NGOs can play an active role. As compared to a decade or two ago, there are more number of NGOs now and some of them are playing an effective role and in certain niche areas. Mahaswamis of Kanchi Mutt started years ago what is known as the pidi arisi scheme. Each of us can contribute a handful of rice kept in temples and mutts everyday/week, which by accumulation will be sufficient to feed a large populace. Now, temples in Tamil Nadu and elsewhere have also brought out the Annadhana scheme. Each of one of us who are having resources more than our needs, can share at least about 5 per cent of our monthly inflows, through such schemes, even if not directly. Further, though food production has improved dramatically over the years, storage facilities have not kept pace.
Rotting of grains, vegetables and fruits are an eye sore and do not add to food security. Substantial storage facilities, including cold storages, are the need of the hour. The hotels and hostels can think of having some arrangement with NGOs/old-age homes, where the leftovers can be shared with them. There is no use looking to the Government for everything. In these kinds of initiatives, cluster approach and community kitchens will be the most suited.
Krithivasan
I would like to share my personal experience with you. One night I was going to the salon. On the way, a kid who wanted to polish my shoes. I said no and asked him to go away. Then he asked me for some money and that made me really furious. Not because I hate beggars, but because I got the feeling that the money actually reaches the greedy and not the hungry. He then asked me for some food, and then I told him that I would buy him food and whether that would be ok? And he happily replied ‘Yes.’
When I was going back to my car after visiting the salon, I was approached by another boy of the same age asking me for food. And unfortunately I went away. I felt guilty for not obliging. I was partial to some extent and didn’t know why. At that same time I was thinking whether I can do everything for everybody? And now after reading your article, I am happy that there are few others who are also thinking on the same lines and I would want to contribute. Please let me know how.
Akshaet Goyal

SwatiListening@gmail.com
Blog at: http://Swati-CA.blogspot.com

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