Anand scored 90.8 per cent in CBSE Class XII Results 2008. When he looked at the results on the quaint computer terminal at his neighbourhood cyber café, he was ecstatic. 92 in Functional English, 86 in Mathematics, 94 in Physics, 93 in Chemistry and 89 in Biology. The numbers seemed pretty good to him but his parents thought differently!

As he strolled back home, he perhaps never understood the expectations from him were far higher. Vidya, his mother, was not sad, neither was she really happy. Her cousin’s son had fared much better. Biology, Anand’s favourite subject, did not disappoint him but mommy dearest was. “You should have chosen computer science. I had told you marks are better in that subject,” she said with an underlying tone of vindication. 18-year old Anand took up the subject because he liked it.

Mr Rajendran, the man of the house, returned later that evening. A brief look at the mark-sheet: The next words from his mouth were “Aiyo…how will you get into that engineering institute I had told you about!” Mathematics, the subject which had made Anand literally burn the midnight oil in the prelude to the exams, was the cause for disappointment. Sorry, the subject was not — Anand’s marks were. 86 seemed not enough. Mr Rajendran was expecting northwards of 90. Anand cannot write the exam anymore but who will understand that!

Incidentally, Anand is my neighbour’s son. I happened to be at their apartment to collect the monthly contribution for the salary to be given to our security guards. Wrong place and wrong time. Unfortunately, I too was sucked into listening to the advice and veiled threats (some, not all) parents give to their ‘wards’, shortly after exam results are out.

With rising income and educational expenses, expectations from parents have increased. How much is enough, remains a mystery. Psychologist Mr Murali feels peer pressure is weaker than family pressure. “Just look at the people around. Do you see people congratulating their sons or daughters for clearing exams? No. We hardly tell our own people that they have done well. You go to the corporate world, the story is the same,” he laments.

We are fast turning into a big country with people who never get what they want. A few days ago, a media audit was sent to me. One of the questions was about recognition. Do you feel Indians recognise talent? Bad question. The question should be do you feel Indians are recognised for their talent!

Indira, one of Anand’s classmates and who also lives in our apartment complex, was not facing the same situation. Her parents were travelling abroad. “Results are the only time I feel happy. It’s perhaps when my friends want to get away from their parents but can’t,” quipped this teenager. She scored 80 per cent and her papa has promised to bring her iPod Classic on his return. He sent an SMS. Parents who don’t seem to spend more time with children are preferred, especially during results time. The growing gap between children and their parents seems to widen then.

Coming back to Anand. So, the dinner was set on the table. Except for our hero, everybody was worried about his future. He was having food. His mother cooked nothing special. She had a bout of migraine from the morning, which only seemed to have gotten worse. Grandpa was silent as he was a little short of hearing. Anand’s curd rice tasted different today. More salt, perhaps. As his parents assessed the impact of his 89 per cent in biology and launched into a controlled, but nevertheless, scathing attack on the biology tutor, Mr Venkatesh looked on. He seemed the only soul who understood Anand. He was a distant cousin of Anand’s mother. “Do you need unwilling would-be engineers or enterprising doctors? That’s a question we have to ask ourselves. The quicker the better. In our days, the pressure was more on future. But today’s kids are handling everything together: Performance as well as future aspirations.”

But parents are spending so much of money, says Vidya like a project manager. Anand’s tutors siphoned (a word she uses nowadays) Rs 3,500 per month. The best tutors (resources) were appointed. The (targets) were mentioned but Anand could not perform. Expectations, they say, are always sky high. The more, the merrier, is it?

Now, Anand will have to be an engineer. His dreams of being a doctor are not going to come true, his father said. The turnaround time for being a doctor is higher than for an IT engineer. Prust once said, we all end up doing what we are second best at!

How many parents ask their children what they want to study? Are the wishes followed? “Children are expected to do well in subjects they don’t like. A few get their choices, only to rue their decisions later. But God forbid if they fare poorly in them!” Shravani, a career counsellor said. She has seen many cases similar to Rohan’s. I usually get them admitted to colleges/institutions which the parents want, she confesses.

Enough! I will not delve into the subject deeper. After all, what people do with their children’s future is their head-ache. When unmarried, but thoughtful, well-wishers say something, parents usually have their winner argument ready. It reads like this: “You will only understand when you become a parent.”

Just a simple question for readers. What would you have done if you were in Anand’s shoes? Mail your answers mentioning names along with addresses to swatilistening@gmail.com .

Responses to Episode-181 on the issue: ‘Kitchens losing inflation battle’ (Business Line, April 7, 2008).

India is growing. To provide for the Below-Poverty-Line families (estimated at 30 per cent) for at least two square meals a day, a 15 per cent growth in food production is required. Now, with agriculture growth of less than 5 per cent, there is going to be a scramble for food and vegetables. We should develop kitchen gardens for vegetables, practice consuming seasonal vegetables and fruits (non-seasonal items costs about 100 per cent more) and buy a larger fridge (to store more).