Sadly, much depends on how a woman looks rather than what she has done or achieved.
It was indeed disturbing to read in The Hindu’s Sunday Magazine section this weekend, Sarah Elizabeth Webb’s article on the groping and sexual harassment she is constantly being subjected to in India as a western woman.
Working as a teacher in a school for the tribal and underprivileged children in Tamil Nadu, she obviously got the courage to write the article titled “Sexualisation of the Western woman” after the spontaneous outrage from thousands of Indian women, and men as well, on the heinous Delhi gangrape last December.
Sarah says that, as a western woman in India, she dressed conservatively, even wore a fake wedding ring, tried to ignore or shrug off unwanted attention from men. But nothing has worked and she finally feels as though she is living in a “human zoo”; she can’t escape the “stares or offensive, sexually charged comments”, and has had enough. “The comments — the attitudes — towards western women are disgusting, degrading and totally unacceptable,” she concludes.
Always about looks
While this is shameful enough, the much more detailed coverage of the sexual violence that Indian women, and minor girls, themselves are being subjected to in their own country, tells a sordid story of the Indian mindset on the “second sex”.
Physical violence and sexual harassment are one matter; there is something pathologically wrong and sickening in the way we look at a woman’s body.
Sadly enough, it is not only men, but also women, who set store by stereotypes of beauty, and how a woman looks, rather than what she has done or achieved.
A very close friend’s sister is a trained psychologist and now works overseas. Each time she visits India she is appalled to note how people’s first response to women is always about their appearance… whether they have put on or lost weight, look radiant or tired, what they are wearing… is the styling of their clothes hep or old-fashioned.
“It amazes me how a woman is made to look/feel small by comments on the weight she might have put on or the ill-fitting clothes she is wearing. Never mind that she is a pioneer or outstanding achiever in her field of work… if she looks good, nothing else matters.”
Vidya Balan targeted
That she is bang on was once again reinforced this Monday when Hindi cinema’s exceedingly talented actress Vidya Balan was trending high on Twitter.
I thought it must be because she had just wrapped up yet another award — this time the Filmfare award for her role in Kahaani. But no, the Indian Twitter fraternity — living in India and overseas — had suddenly become interested in her because she had come through as “fat” while receiving the award! For this sin, she was called “the national football of India”, a “sofa”, and the like. Somebody wondered if she was pregnant; another jerk even suggested somebody should get her a tent.
One twit said her “films have to be watched on IMAX coz she wont fit in a single 35 MM frame”. Pishachina tweeted: “Nagaland Home Minister blames Vidya Balan and Sonakshi Sinha for famine #Filmfare”, and Tinu Cherian Abraham @tinucherian, obviously feeling not enough people had joined the Vidya-Balan-is-fat bandwagon went as far as to say: “I am sure many are avoiding from (sic) making any twitter jokes on Vidya Balan, of the fear being seen as sexist. :)”
There were scores who made fun of the talented star’s dress sense; there was a clear North-South divide here. In most such award functions, Vidya is seen in gorgeous (“awful” to some though!) Kancheepuram silk sarees, often wearing jasmine flowers in her hair in typical South Indian style. Obviously this is too “desi” for some people!
So what if she opts not to wear the glitzy gowns that divas like Priyanka Chopra or Katrina Kaif wear? But in our scheme of things, somebody who dares to be different has to be crucified.
Contrarians
Thankfully, twitterdom was saved by many tweets lambasting those making fun of Vidya’s extra inches… imaginary or real, and pointed out that what really mattered was that she was such a versatile and talented actress.
And hence we had BoySuperior @Peanutbut tweeting: “I don’t care how Vidya Balan, or anyone else, dresses or weighs as long as they are best at what they do and/or are expected to do. Period.”
My vote goes to this tweet from The Bad Doctor @doctoratlarge: “Making fun of Vidya Balan because she’s fat? Nice.
Shall I make fun of you for being ugly? Or for being dumb, boring and non-talented?” By the evening it had been retweeted 70-odd times.
It’s comforting to know that if there is one actress in Bollywood who can dismiss all this and march ahead to greater glory and acclaim through her work, it is this woman.
But how come no overweight Bollywood stars trend on Twitter for their weight, the pistachio green, mithai pink or mauve checked atrocious trousers they don on and off screen?
The Beauty Myth
Unfortunately, this obsession, stereotyped, straitjacketed approach to an oppressive definition of a woman’s physical beauty gets reinforced over and over again. It makes me wonder how nothing much has changed since Naomi Wolf’s 1991 book The Beauty Myth that talked about how the more progress women make in different spheres and excel in a myriad of professions, the more they are expected to conform to standard definitions and accepted norms of physical beauty and form.
In her introductory comments Wolf had written: “The more legal and material hindrances women have broken through, the more strictly and heavily and cruelly images of female beauty have come to weigh upon us... During the past decade, women breached the power structure; meanwhile, eating disorders rose exponentially and cosmetic surgery became the fastest-growing specialty.”
She added that pornography had only flourished and, in a study, 33,000 American women said they’d rather lose 10 to 15 pounds than achieve any other goal.
“More women have more money and power and scope and legal recognition than we have ever had before; but in terms of how we feel about ourselves physically, we may actually be worse off than our unliberated grandmothers.”
It’s scary how, on the one hand, women are expected to conform to accepted norms of ‘beauty” and, on the other, they continue to get sexually harassed, at home and outside.
We now have some women councillors in Delhi complaining in a letter to the Lieutenant Governor that they undergo regular sexual molestation inside the Delhi Municipal Corporation building.
So not only do women have to face sexual aggression; they have to look physically good to warrant it!
Responses to Rasheeda.bhagat@thehindu.co.in and blfeedback@thehindu.co.in




Comments:
Thanks! I have no superlative to describe your fine write up, exactly reflecting my thinking, but did not have the fraction of the talent your expressive genius.. We are actually worse off than our “unliberated grandmothers”. India of earlier generations grew up under watchful eyes of matriarchal supervision. Grandma’s zest for life is legendary. So are their quest for knowledge, so full of life and energy, singing songs, telling stories and even dance to enthrall her grandchildren! Grandma invariably enjoyed the attention and respect of the society. This institution is sorely missed along with store house of information, be it folklore, history, mythology or recipes, quotes from the Ramayana and Mahabharata to keep youngsters enthralled for hours. Pathetically today TV and cinemas has displaced this institution. This absence of grandma checks and balances, is highly visible in “Whatever is deeply, essentially female--the life in a woman's expression, the feel of her flesh, the shape of her breasts, the transformations after childbirth of her skin--is being reclassified as ugly, and ugliness as disease. These qualities are about an intensification of female power, which explains why they are being recast as a diminution of power. At least a third of a woman's life is marked with aging; about a third of her body is made of fat. Both symbols are being transformed into operable condition--so that women will only feel healthy if we are two thirds of the women we could be. How can an "ideal" be about women if it is defined as how much of a female sexual characteristic does not exist on the woman's body, and how much of a female life does not show on her face?”
― Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women
The subject could be evolve into a larger one - the society at large is obsessed with treating a person on how he/she looks instead of treating him/her as a human. Pls note that this is a gender-neutral issue. The society seems to reward people not on results but on appearances - else why does a Yuvraj or even a Raina get more ads than a Laxman ?
The least we can do is ban beauty contests, ban advertisement in print
and media which glorify the fair skin, introduce sex education in
schools and make sure we sensitize children about gender neutrality. We
should complain to the advertising stands council of India on all
advertisements which attempts to glorify a woman's looks.
Dear Rasheeda
Everything you raise in this piece so gels with my own observations
about how we only like women who suit our decorative sense and how we
are so externalized as far as women go.
The south films epitomize this with beast like males wooing slimmer
and slimmer and fairer and fairer belles.
No wonder poor Elizabeth Webb is so oppressed in TN. Not that she
wouldn't be in other parts of India.
What could be a solution?
I am sorry to say that my own well educated and globally exposed
friends fall into this trap of externalizing.
Would love to be part of a movement to help women respect themselves
Regards
Parvati
Apart from articulating your views , you have done little to serve
the cause. I do not blame you. People( including experts) today have
very little idea on any subject at depth but that does not stop them.
Result being suggestions like gender sensitising ,capital
punishments etc that mean nothing.
No one recognises that commoditisation of the fair sex and violence
against them even within families and close communities is rising
alarmingly with our advancing civilisation and mindless pursuit of
pleasure. Anything that threatens this commercialised mindset, is
ruthlessly suppressed using evrything such as media, govt, etc.
Thus today we blame that which alone can solve this problem, namely
religion and morality as having created the problem.
we think India alone has the problem and that is because of its
religious background. Far from the truth.Our poor children today
stand stripped of the only thing that makes any sense in this cynical
world which is good religion well taught
An insightful article from Rasheeda Bhagat! Kudos for the wonderful
writeup! But then how do we change the stereotypes we the people, the
media, and the society has falsely cultivated over a period of time???
I have always wondered who is deciding how women have to dress.
Indiatimes website had a main item, ‘Alia spotted in a sexy
transparent top’ and goes on to add, ‘The Bhatt babe turned on the
heat with her outfit at a special screening of Murder 3.’ Definitely
it was her decision to dress up that way. All kinds of outfits are
available in the market but the choice is with the women to decide
what they would like to wear and what they should be wearing. Women
need not dress up for men’s sake. For men, a woman is a woman, however
she presents herself. Women themselves are very particular about how
they want to look. It is like they are competing with other
women....as if they want to outdo other women...
Men are men, cannot stop themselves from looking at good looking
women. A woman dressed up aggressively like Alia Bhatt definitely
invites more than just a look. The dangerous part is that such
dressing up fires up some man who then goes to commit the crime
against some hapless female
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