HERE, THERE & ELSEWHERE . Final countdown in Game of Thrones

A line of invisible fire divides my little home in Elsewhere into two zones. On one side of the line is Bins, twiddling his moustache and plotting his next mug of tea. On the other side are...dragons! White Walkers! Direwolves! And all the rest of the thrilling craziness contained within the TV show, Game of Thrones.

“You know what’s wrong with your show?” Bins asks from his side of the divide. “Shush!” I snarl, “it’s the LAST SEASON!! This is the FOURTH EPISODE! Only TWO MORE left!” Like all fans of this show, I react to the slightest distraction as if it were a beheading. “It’s a collective madness,” roars Bins. “Just wait till it’s over,” I implore. “The fate of that world is hanging in balance ...EEEK!”

Terrible things are happening on-screen. “Oh nonononono!” I moan. “It can’t be real — this must be a dream sequence”. On and on it goes, the episode lasting for a gruelling hour and 20 minutes. By the end of it, I and all the thousands of fans worldwide are lying around like turtle carcasses on a beach after a great storm. “Just explain to me,” says Bins, “why any of this matters so much? It’s just a TV show, after all! You’ve seen the actors appearing in commercials and other movies — they even made some dumb mistake and left a disposable coffee mug in plain view during a banquet scene.”

I’m staring blankly into the distance, even as visions of a dying dragon continue to flicker in my mind’s eye, and sounds of battle fade in my mind’s ear. “I can’t explain,” I say, finally. “I agree it’s really very weird to feel so invested in this faux-medieval world with all its slush and horror, people slicing heads off at the slightest provocation and the weird magical stuff.” The power struggle between four major clans is what makes up the main story, while the threat of invasion by supernatural forces and extreme climate change are twin sub-themes.

“Ah,” says Bins. “Four clans equals four racial types. The clans are connected by hidden alliances that also undermine their purity, yes? And all four clans plus all the peasant-types are facing doom by monsters and/or the weather. Right?” I’m shaking my head. “You’re simplifying it! You’re missing all the cool character development over seven long seasons. The intrigue, the conversations, the twisting plot-lines...”

But Bins has his jeery-face in place. “We humans! We love to see ourselves reflected in hero-dramas! We imagine there are monsters to be saved from! Including the biggest monster of all — The Weather,” he shrugs. “Of course, climate change really IS going to destroy us all. And it’s really our own fault. So the monsters are real too and they’re just...us.” He looks suddenly serious. “So maybe it’s not so imaginary after all.”

I give him a tired thumbs up. “Move over!” he mutters. “Gotta catch up in six days before the next episode!”

Manjula Padmanabhan , author and artist, writes of her life in the fictional town of Elsewhere, US, in this weekly column

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