In a move which analysts have described as ‘a giant leap into the 19th century’, UP Police will issue 800 bicycles to policemen in Lucknow, Kanpur, Allahabad and Ghaziabad. The bicycles will be equipped with sirens, flashers, and small but tasteful man-purses.

“In an era of drones and stealth weapons, we wanted a force that was simpler, cleaner and closer to the soil,” said a spokesman. “On field tests, in nine cases out of 10, subjects were able to overtake and apprehend absconding buffaloes. In one case, the buffalo knocked over the bicycle.”

Each of the cities will now have state-of-the-art Police Control Rooms too. A Rapid Alert System will capture information regarding crimes in progress that will be relayed to the Cycle Squad Chief, after which bicycles with flashing sirens will shoot out in hot pursuit of the criminals. In cases where criminals lose control of their vehicles due to uncontrollable laughter, the officer is authorised to take a 15-minute hiatus to recover his breath, after which he is to apprehend the culprits, or provide them medical help, as the case may be. Most officers have been supportive. “Obviously we’d have preferred it if the election symbol of the Samajwadi Party was a motorbike or a Mercedes,” said one, “But at least, Mayawati is not in charge. Her symbol is an elephant.”

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