What happens when a damsel from Bavaria and a gent from Cuddalore meet, fall in love, and then make their parents meet? While a clash of cultures is assured, lots of laughter and tender moments also ensue. Franziska Schönenberger and Jayakrishnan Subramanian, a filmmaker and artist couple who met in Mumbai, chronicle this journey from ‘otherness’ to ‘happily ever after’ in Amma & Appa , a documentary which premiered at the recent Berlinale. Shot in German, Tamil and English, the film tells the story of Schönenberger’s parents first meeting with the Subramanians in Cuddalore. From the difficulty that the German couple face while trying to eat with their hands to the bemusement of the Tamil couple when they taste their counterparts’ food. As the filmmaker-couple say, the film is a “humorous and sensitive exploration of the biographies and love stories of all the three couples, who are so different, but only at first glance.”

How did it feel to be the subjects of your own documentary?

Franziska Being one’s own subject was not that difficult. I try to convince other people to speak in front of my camera as a documentary filmmaker and they share their innermost feelings with me. A filmmaker should be able to be in front of the camera, like her other ‘victims’. I thought, why not start with my own story before trying to tell other people’s stories. But now when I see myself on the screen I feel a bit embarrassed.

Jay It was difficult for me to put myself in front of the camera, but I think it made it much easier for my parents when we were also front and centre. By the end of it, we all forgot the camera completely.

How did your parents react to the film?

Franziska My parents saw the finished film only at the Berlinale. During the screening, I sat next to my mother and father and constantly looked at their faces. But after they started laughing I felt most relieved. But now the film has a chance of being released in cinemas in Germany, so my father said recently that if he had known better, he would have given it a second thought.

Jay My parents initially refused to watch the film, as they thought we made fun of them, but later when they saw the film and realised that all their complaints and concerns were represented in a graceful manner, they were happy. They keep asking me when they can see the film on the ‘big screen’.

Was there a similar clash of cultures when you guys met?

Franziska Yes, definitely. In the beginning, I had a problem eating with my hands or using an Indian toilet. And although Jay is from South India I prefer North Indian dishes. Even before I knew Jay I was travelling in India but mostly in the North. I even tried to learn some Hindi and Indian dishes. But Jay wasn’t impressed that I knew how to make chapatis or palak paneer . Even my knowledge of Hindi didn’t help at all; when I met his parents, I had to learn Tamil.

Jay I don’t like to plan ahead, but Germans will stress over even a holiday. They structure their leisure time. We both have different rhythms of life. I wish to reach a resonance.

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