Give me some credit!

A couple of days ago, Indra Nooyi told a conference at Aspen, CO, that when she rushed home to share the news about her becoming president of Pepsico, her mother had told her to get some milk, “leave that damned crown in the garage” and be mindful of the fact that when she came back home she was a wife, a mother, a daughter and a daughter-in-law. I’m sure Nooyi’s mother is immensely proud of her daughter’s achievements, which, Nooyi acknowledges, were spurred by her mother’s upbringing. Many of us women are familiar with it – one which manages to mix Indian, middle-class conservativeness with an agenda for academic achievement, professional accomplishment and upward mobility. This means that a girl is expected to get a good education, preferably one of science, stay on top of the class, find a good job, get married and bear children at the right age, continue to work, get ahead even as she pleases everyone around her and live life by precisely regulated tactic and strategy.

But this piece is not really about how women cannot have it all, as Nooyi affirmed rather despairingly. It’s not about hard choices, not about why only moms, and not dads, are expected to attend coffee mornings at school, nor about the dexterity needed to juggle various roles and demands. It’s not about glass ceilings.

It’s simply about women being appreciated. We fulfilled expectations and demands. We walk several tightropes all at once, or so it seems. We achieve that balance between getting ahead and not falling out of the mould. We have listened to you, family, teachers and mentors. Some of us have tried harder because we charted a different path.

We have come this far, and you were a big part of the journey. Celebrate our achievements with us, and let us take pleasure in announcing them. Please listen to our good news, any news, before doling out a stern, if well-meaning, reality check. That crown, you see, will feel a little bit lighter.