Motabhai was hunched over his laptop reading about Cambridge Analytica and Facebook as Chotu marched into the cafeteria.

Why the hangdog look on your face, Motu?

Ah, there you are. I’m totally lost over all this news about FB and CA. Is it true that our FB profiles and posts have been leaked?

Oh yes, absolutely. As many as 87 million FB users’ data may have been accessed by CA illegally but I think you should be safe given that all your posts are either about eating or about dating.

Oh, come on yaar, Chotu, what do you think people post on FB anyway? It is mostly silly stuff like that or pictures of themselves or their pets, which occasionally turns out to be their kids. Strange that CA is interested in what I eat or who I date...

Arrey buddhu, you should look beyond your interests in FB. People post on many more subjects outside your limited world view. For instance, heated arguments between bleeding heart liberals and bleeding-for-Lord-Ram loonies are quite common as are rants from supporters of Trump and opponents of our very own Modibhai.

Is that right? But why is CA interested in my views on Trump or Modi?

Simply because it was into the business of influencing voter behaviour.

That’s insidious, if true. How’s that even possible, Chotu?

Motabhai, from your posts in social media, including FB, it is possible to build what is called a psychographic profile of yours.

Are you talking of that old horror movie Psycho?

Motu, for heaven’s sake think about stuff other than food and movies for a change. Psychographics is used by marketers to build a profile of consumers based on their interests in life, their activities, their views on other people, on events around them and so on.

Oh, you’re awesome Chotu, it is for this deep knowledge of yours that I tolerate your antics. Now tell me, what will CA do with my psychographic profile?

It is not just CA, there are umpteen advertisers out there who’re interested in knowing your psychographic profile, Motu. In this case, the outfit learned about you from your psychographic profile and used it to influence your voting behaviour in the election.

Ok, I get it now. So, FB was a willing accomplice in sharing my information?

Well, FB claims that the data was stolen but it is true that FB does read our posts and probably even has our psychographic profile which it uses to target advertisements at us.

You mean, someone in FB knows about me and Guddu?

Motabhai, the whole world knows about your unrequited love for Guddu and also how she once dismissed you calling you a fatso...

This is what I hate about you, Chotu....but now I understand why I keep seeing ads in my FB timeline from the eateries around town. FB has been reading my posts on food too. But tell me, why’s FB snooping on me?

Simple. To connect you with advertisers for whom you’re a potential customer. How do you think FB earns money?

But I thought FB was a free service...

There are no free lunches anywhere in this world, Motu.

If FB offers its services to you for free then it means it is making money through you elsewhere.

Accha, how’re you so cool despite knowing all this? Aren’t you on FB, Chotu?

Of course I am. But I don’t open up my soul there. I’m on FB just to know what you’re up to with Guddu.

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