Below the line

Baba Inc

Patanjali Ayurved, Baba Ramdev’s FMCG venture, is being promoted on a war footing. The yoga guru has always maintained his venture will give a tough fight to MNCs. Even as his instant noodles product has run into trouble with approvals, his marketing strategy is to cash in on the spirit of patriotism. For instance, the company’s brochure claims that buying Patanjali products will ensure that India’s wealth remains in the country, and that purchasing Patanjali’s dish cleaner will save cows from getting butchered.

Too much to byte?

Ministers are always surrounded after seminars and conferences for a quick byte for the television cameras. Sometimes ministers angrily walk off, but one minister recently found a witty way out. All he said was, “You are getting too fat. Stop taking so many bytes!” Quick wit.

When less is good

The NDA government has been harping on its business friendly initiatives over the last 18 months. At an Assocham seminar, Finance Minister Arun Jaitley said this has also resulted in India Inc heads making fewer trips to the various ministries.

“The best evidence of ease of doing business is when captains of industry stop coming to North Block,” he pointed out, much to the amusement of the audience.

Ghostbusters

Blame it on the supernatural. That’s what some officials of the perpetually loss-making Kerala State Road Transport Corporation have done. They concluded that the reason for the frequent accidents involving buses operating out of KSRTC’s Kasaragod depot was that the buses were haunted. It was the ghosts that caused the accidents — not poor maintenance or human error. Their solution? A ghost-exorcising pooja at the depot performed by a tantrik.

But when a television channel leaked the news and a rationalists’ organisation called for prosecuting the officials for practising and propagating superstition, the officials said it was not exorcism but normal worship as part of Vijaya Dasami, with pooja expenses being paid from funds raised from employees. The managing director of KSRTC has now asked the vigilance division of the corporation to inquire into the matter. Whatever next?

Whiskey for the milkman

Did you know: Verghese Kurien, father of India’s white revolution, actually hated drinking milk! That’s what Chief Economic Advisor Arvind Subramanian told students and academicians at a gathering in Anand. “I am told that he actually hated milk. And given a choice between whiskey and milk, you know what would be picked up,” he quipped. Suddenly realising that Gujarat is a prohibition State, Subramanian quickly added a disclaimer, “I shouldn’t be saying this in this great state of Gujarat.” Neat, huh!

The king in bad times

At the AGM of United Spirits, chairman Vijay Mallya was as belligerent as ever despite facing a quit notice from the board. When a reporter asked how he would raise money to pay off the mounting debts, he said, “This is like saying I am going to buy new suits and your very next question will be where you are going to get them and from which tailor. What is this, ya? You guys have gone nuts.” Let’s ask the lenders.

Letting work do the talking

Mihir Doshi, MD and country head of Credit Suisse in India, keeps a really low public profile. The Swiss financial services provider has had a marquee year with a series of successes on investment advice and mergers and acquisitions — Alibaba’s investment in Indian e-commerce major Snapdeal, closing Polaris Consulting’s stake sale to Virtusa, among others. Speaking at CS’s Centre of Excellence in Pune, Doshi said that he is equally optimistic about next year, but seemed reluctant to share too much during a rare media interaction. Confiding he was media shy, he said, “I love to read the papers, but others’ stories, not my own.”

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